The adventures of daisy

Uncle john and Christmas

                        Age: 8-10.               Uncle John is bald and chubby. He has a funny walk because of how his feet were position when he was born. He still lives with grandma and grandpa. He is grandmas baby. She could never actually have kids so she adopted him when he was born. He doesn't work but if he does he spends his money on weed or ps2 games. Uncle John really wasn't any better than Charles. He's molested many girls in the family but he was never charged because he was 17 at the time of his crime. Grandma will cover his tracks to the end of time. After all this is her prized baby. So my three cousins who he had molested were called liars and outcasts. Nobody believes them, and if they do they don't say anything. Uncle John got a girlfriend; mandi. Mandi was kind but she lost custody of her kids so now all of her time is free and her money is blown on just uncle John. Mandi doesn't know these things about uncle johns past of course, although I think even if she knew it wouldn't change her decision to be with him. Mandi and uncle John start watching my brother and I while momma works. It's almost Christmas so she's pulling some doubles. Mandi made a blueberry pie after dinner one night and uncle John insists we eat some. I don't like blueberries and I've been feeling sick. Just the smell of it makes me nauseous. Nonetheless, he is the adult and says if I don't eat a slice I'm getting sent to bed early. His arm draped around Mandis shoulder, he says "Eat a slice or I'm whooping your ass and sending you to bed." I take the smallest slice of blueberry pie and finish it as quick as I can, trying not to lose my dinner and the pie onto the floor in the process. The rest of the night goes well. I wait on momma to get home. I don't see her much and I'm a big mommas girl. I try to call her at work but it's unsuccessful. She's busy, the bar is full with men in shitty marriages looking to drown out how miserable their lives are; truckers who are lonely and miss home, and people who have no family and the bottom of a bottle helps them around the holidays to forget how sad they actually are. The occasional homeless person looking for a few shots to keep them warm for the night.When momma comes home we normally watch an episode of forensic files and head to bed. I learned how to count by counting her tips she made each night when she comes home. She has a large glass Budweiser piggy bank. Every night she slips a $20 and handful of ones into the piggy bank. Sometimes a $50 if she's made enough to spare that for the day. This is how she saves for Christmas. I keep a piggy bank next to hers and keep all of the change in it, i wanna save money like momma. Momma still isn't home yet but I fall asleep waiting on her. I wake up with blue chunks all over myself, the mattress, in my hair, on my clothes. The blueberry pie from earlier now a nasty puddle of mush on the bed. Uncle John comes in when he hears me crying; a look of disgust crosses his face before he tells me to get up and go take a bath. I go get clean and when I return I see uncle John has only flipped the mattress over, leaving the staining on the bottom side of the mattress. The blueberry meds still there. Just out of sight. I go back to bed and wait for momma to wake me up so we can count her tips together. I love when she comes home. She's always so tired but still tries to spend a little time with me before we go to bed.

Christmas is just a few weeks away and Mandi and uncle John are still watching us. Momma comes home from work one night and goes to slip her normal bills into her piggy bank but it's gone. So is my Halloween bucket of change that was 3/4 full.
The only people there were Mandi and uncle John. Momma doesn't cause a scene. She knows uncle John has stolen the money. There was almost a thousand dollars there and probably a couple hundred in change. That means momma can't buy Christmas now.

But at least she can still work since he's watching us. It's hard to find a new sitter.

So momma doesn't say anything. And uncle John continues to watch us. Momma tells me he must have needed it more than we did. But I'm mouthy. And I have no filter. Momma tells me to hush and to drop it and I do. "Momma will get him." I think to myself.

Christmas comes around and under the tree is a little empty. Mommas eyes look tired. I've woken up too early but my sister isn't here. She always wakes me up on Christmas. I asked momma where Kaylee is. She says she's at the hospital but everything will be okay. I drift back off to sleep. I found out later that the friend Kaylee had over when I went to bed had held her down with a knife and raped her in our family bathroom. Im so angry at myself that Kaylee got hurt. If I wouldn't have went to bed this wouldn't have happened. Kaylee was always.... Different after that. You know people deal with grief differently. Some isolate. Some scream and cry. Kaylee tried to take back her power by sleeping with a lot of men afterwards. She was a virgin before. But now there's a new guy over every night.  Momma doesn't stop her because momma doesn't know how to stop her. Kaylee and I share a room. Max and Eli share a room, and momma has the master bedroom. In the corner of our bedroom, there is a pile of coats of various sizes and colors. And also a pile of wallets. When one guy leaves and forgets something, Kaylee adds them into their designated pile. Some men come back to claim their items; others don't. It's such a terrible way to cope, using sec to try and make you feel better mentally. But then again who am I to judge? Everyone copes differently.

When I wake up again, momma still looks tired. She worked so hard and this was all she could afford. She has to find a different sitter. Max, my older brother has been acting up and getting into trouble at school. He's actually been kicked out so many times she has to put him into a different district... And now this with Kaylee. It's just too much going on on top of not having enough for Christmas. Momma is so overwhelmed. Maybe the kids need to see a doctor about getting some medicine to help them focus on school. But that's another worry for another day. Today momma revels in being able to get the kids anything at all for Christmas. Hopefully next year is better for everyone.