The Christmas Wish

Chapter Six

It has been days since I was told that Luke was missing. I haven't left my bed except to use the bathroom. I can't move, and it hurts to breathe. I knew something had happened to him, but it didn't make it any easier. I can't live without him. My nights are filled with nightmares of him dying and I haven't slept the last couple days because of them. Brandon has been here every day. I tell him he needs to get back to work but he says that he has taken days off to be with me. He has been so caring. He tries to get me to eat or even get out of bed and I just grunt and turn away from him. I haven't been the best to him and he takes it in stride. Keely sleeps with me at night and I hear her cry each night and it breaks my heart. I hold back my tears until I hear she has finally fallen asleep and I let my own tears fall. I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. I know I should be getting back to work but I just can't bring myself to face the world and everyone in it. The curtains are drawn and the lights stay out. I don't want to see the light. I just want to be in the dark. It's where my soul wants to be without its mate.

It's New Year's eve and my parents had planned a new year's party. I didn't want to go. My mom had called and I told her that I wasn't coming. She said she understood and hoped I would change my mind. I hear my bedroom door swing open and heavy footsteps stomp into my room.

"Alright bestie, it's time to get out of that bed and get ready. We are going to your parent's." Branden says as he yanks the covers off of me and turns on the lights.

"NO! Just leave me alone. Let me die here. There is nothing left for me here."
"Look, I have let you be gloomy for long enough. I know Luke and he would not want you to be like this. He would want you to live. Now, let's get up. There is still so much for you to live for."

I sit up and look at him.

"I can't do it, Bran. He was my whole world and now he's gone!"
"You don't know that. He could be somewhere trying to get back to you. I just have this feeling that he is still alive."
"Then why haven't they found him?"
"I don't know, but I just feel like he is still out there."
"I hope you are right, but I don't know how long I can hold on."
"Mommy, are you okay?" Keely asks as she quietly walks into the room. Her eyes are red and puffy and I know she has been crying. I reach out my arms and she quickly climbs onto the bed and into them.

"No, I am not, little one, but maybe someday I will be."
"I miss daddy. Will I ever see him again?"

"I hope so. We have to keep hope that maybe he is still out there."
"It hurts so much."
"I know it does, but it will get better. He will always be in your heart, no matter what."
"He loves you too, mommy. Can we go to Gramma and Grandpa's for the party?"

"I guess we can go if you want to."

She jumps down and runs out of the room.

"I'm proud of you. I know it's hard for you." Brandon says as he sits down next to me.

"It is very hard, but she was looking forward to it. I would do anything for that little girl."
"You don't have to stay the whole time, you know."
"I know. We will see how it goes."
"Okay, I'm gonna head home and get ready. I will be back shortly."

He heads out and leaves me to get out of bed and drag myself to the shower. Stepping in I let the water cascade over my skin as I try to make it wash away the pain. Eventually I step out and get ready. As I am putting on my makeup to try and hide the dark circles and puffiness, Keely comes in carrying her dress and shoes.

"Can you help me?"

"Let's get you washed first."
She laughs as I pick her up and get the tub ready for her and she climbs in and we wash up. When she is done, I pick her up, wrap her in a towel and take her out to the bedroom to get her ready. Once we are ready, I hear the door open and Brandon's voice.