kiss heal

Until tonight

When the song ended, it was dark, silent, and red. All over. Her body, ears, voice. Hell, she could see red. He assumed she was asleep after he heard not a word from her and then cut the call, a success to his attempt to make her fall asleep.  But to her, a complete failure. If she had one ounce of sleep left in her, it was all gone now. 

Once the call is ended, she gasped out for breath, her heart rate escalating over to break the general number for heart rate, he eyes wide open and her mind still hearing his singing voice. The words, the lyrics, the melody, everything. 

If a five-minute song over the phone could do this to her, she would never dare to face him and hear him sing in reality, even though it's something she's done for the entirety of her life -  hear him sing.

What had changed between them so much so that she could not breathe properly in the existence of him? 

The kiss. 

She touched her cheeks and felt the warmth beneath them. Something she'd only read in books and seen on tv was happening to her right now. She always ridiculed how they enhanced feeling giddy and described 'love' in books because it didn't happen in real life. Guess what, it does. It only takes one moment to believe in all the books you're read about love to become true to you. Like POOF!

In one instance, she switched her position to sitting and grabbed her laptop to search for the song he sang to her, tying out all the lyrics she could remember amidst the gush of surreal feelings. 

Once on the internet, she searched every blog, video, post for the song he sang but to no avail. 

Not that searching for it and knowing that it was an already existing song was gonna help any less yet she still continued surfing.

If anything, her pulse only escalated slowly realizing what it could be.

Her mind quirked up coming to the conclusion that it might be one of his originals. 

He wrote songs when he had a feeling so intense, he had to write them until when he could not function properly. 

Her hand came in contact with her mouth to stop her from turning her head wheels anymore and landing on establishing a theory that completely and utterly might just be in her head. 

All she could do was hope for the next day to arrive and wait to ask a million questions to him or probably his ghost because she'd turn blood red to ask a simple question but something that might indicate a deep-rooted significance behind, for her. 

The next day arrived with sleepless evidence hanging in her eyes. It was ironic how she had lost her sleep lately each time something was done to make her sleep or feel better. All it did was add more to her sleep deprivation. Regardless, it didn't matter. What mattered was his answer to a question he wouldn't know was coming his way. Or did he? 

She decided it was best to act limp like her bike tire had lost its air or whatever lose excuse she managed to spuke while suggesting on taking the bus together which would give them a chance to 'talk'. 

They were on the bus, after the countless questions Jimin had to ask and also propose to fix her bike but it all went in the drain. 

One ear plucked with one of his earphones, the old wire style once, the one he preferred for god knows what reason, while the other rested in hers. They were listening to 'Say it back'  by Ross Harris, and the words were like it all added to what happened yesterday. Was it a well-executed plan to make her feel things? Because if it was, it was working very well. 

Though ignoring the song that was distracting her so much, she was almost seeing stars and moons on him, she asks him, "so, about yesterday. . ." She began. 

He turned his face and when she saw it, he had a sweet but extremely tiny smile plastered over his lips, a smile she probably wouldn't have noticed if she wasn't automatically staring at his lips. 

The way his lips parted to speak, she had to divert her eyes to somewhere lower to his lips so he wouldn't know. "Did you fall asleep?" 
"I didn't" she shook her head being honest. 
"All the while I couldn't stop thinking of your voice" She whispered. "really?" He mused softly. 
She nodded in tiny. 

"Even though I sang it to you as a lullaby?" He asked, still looking. 

She looked at his face taking in all the pretties, his expression was fallen like he had failed to make her sleep. 

So she blurted out.

"If you sing to me again today, I'll fall asleep, I promise" She almost felt at fault now telling him she couldn't fall asleep to his singing. It wasn't him, it was the lyrics that caused her the sleepless night. 

"You're not just saying this because you feel guilty?" 
"No!" she immediately replied. Flushed by the force of the response, she rephrased it. "no, I want to. I like it. I like you. . . you singing I mean" 

Her mouth was dry trying to explain to him things she was pretty much trying to explain herself actually. She was mentally, and physically unable to ask him the questions she wanted to ask after the small confession she made just now. It could be insignificant for him perhaps but for her, she was telling something she would've taken with her to her grave. Considering how much she used to tease him and his singing only a little while ago when things were 'normal'.

She didn't complain though. She liked this. Loved this, this feeling. The giddy feeling she had grown to love in just a few days which thankfully didn't make her feel like throwing up, or maybe it did but in a good way. 

He chuckled. "Okay." 

"Until tonight, then" she anticipated.