Scarlett & Natasha One Shots

here for you - S.J | comfort

firstly tw: depression, implied suicidal, thoughts of suicide attempt, general feelings of hopelessness etc 

a/n: idk where this one came from, idk i am just v low so kind of venting. wish i had this. scarlett is comfort <3
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You sat with your back against a tree on top of a hill, overlooking the city. Any other person would be focused on the scenery and how beautiful it was. But not you. Having lost yourself to the war within your own mind, you couldn't care for a view like the one splayed out in front of you. Most days you found yourself on a walk to try and quiet your torturous mind. On your worst days you would find yourself at this overlook, it was high and difficult to get to which meant there were never too many people around. The perfect place to let your mind run free.

There wasn't anything particularly wrong in your life, it was just how your brain was and unfortunately you found comfort in the ever growing sadness and torment. Being happy or anything other than sad or in pain felt wrong. Like you weren't deserving of it in any way. You knew you deserved to be happy but there was another part that would take over and make you believe otherwise. It was much easier to give in to those thoughts than it was to fight them.

You wanted to be able to talk to someone about them but you didn't know who to turn to. Convincing yourself you had no one, even though you had a very supportive family back at home. Knowing your mom would do anything to help you, you just didn't want to be a burden for anyone. No one should have to adjust their life just to suit your needs, so you suffered in silence. Not knowing that your mom had started noticing little things different about you. She wasn't sure how to approach the situation yet. Scarlett knew she would have to step in soon, regardless if you tried to resist, if she wanted to help you. Just in case, having read about adolescent depression and how it sneaks up without many warning signs.

You thought everyone had this perception of you, the happy-go-lucky kid that could never be sad, and you wanted to uphold it. Not having the heart to tell the people you love the most just how much you weren't who they thought you were. No one had to know how many times you came to this overlook, looked down and thought about never going back home. The tears that would spring to your eyes, but you felt like everything was hopeless. That nothing was ever going to get better. Feeling like everything was always crumbling down around you no matter how hard you were trying.

Trying felt pointless. Everything felt that way. You wish you could disappear. Disappear from everyone's lives, as if you never existed. Then you wouldn't have to hurt anyone by existing, no one would be burdened by your presence. Silent tears were streaming down your face as you thought about everything. Standing up you walked towards the edge. It was high enough that it would work, all it would take is one jump and you could be free from the pain. Though you always hesitated. You didn't want to leave everything. You didn't want to leave your mom.

Giving up meant you were leaving behind the warm hugs and safety you felt by being in her arms. The way you both would laugh so hard after you scared her for the millionth time just in one day. How your mom could make everything just that little bit better with her blueberry pancakes the mornings when you needed it the most. You never had to tell her anything, it's like she just knew when you needed her comfort. Scarlett, having noticed your slight distancing, the puffy eyes each morning and tried to do little things that would help make things better. Even if it was a little bit, she had hoped she was helping you.

It didn't take you long to realise that you didn't want to die, you didn't want to disappear. Instead, you wanted the pain to disappear. Your hand was shaking as you reached for your phone. Calling the one person you needed right now.

'Mom?' Letting out a shaky breath as you heard her pick up the phone. Trying to hide your sniffles but Scarlett heard them and grew more concerned.

'Sweetheart? Are you okay?' On the other end, Scarlett was grabbing a jacket and her car keys ready to head towards where you were. You didn't know but with her growing concerns, the last time she had access to your phone she made sure you had location sharing set up. Knowing it invades your privacy, she only wanted it for times like this. Scarlett never wanted to risk losing you. You meant everything to your mom.

'I-' You couldn't form a sentence, hearing your mom's voice made your emotions hit you a lot harder than before. Scarlett's voice always brought you a sense of comfort, knowing you weren't alone.

'It's okay darling, I'll be with you soon. Just stay on the phone,'

'Mom, can- just keep talking please,' Needing to hear her voice since it helped to quiet the loudness of your mind.

That's what Scarlett did the whole car ride and until she reached you. She stayed on the phone, talking about anything and everything. Occasionally adding in affirmations and making sure you knew everything was going to be okay. When she arrived, Scarlett didn't know what to expect. Though she let out a breath when she saw you sitting under a tree.

'Oh honey,' Your eyes were red and puffy, and as Scarlett looked into them she noticed the spark that was usually there was completely dulled. Sitting on the ground beside you, she brought you into her embrace. You turned and held onto your mom like your life depended on it, in a way it kind of did.

'I'm sorry,' You started once you felt like you could talk again. Feeling slightly embarrassed for your mom to see you like this, 'I'm just so tired and i don't know what to do,'

'You never have to apologise, sweetness. Your feelings are always valid and I will do anything I can to help you. It will take time but you'll have me through every step of this. I'm not letting you go,' Scarlett placed a soft kiss on your forehead, bringing you closer, 'This isn't going to be easy but I know how strong you are-'

'But I'm not. Just look at me! I was on the edge and I just crumbled,' You interrupted, feeling so weak and nothing like how your mom would describe you.

'You called me instead. Fighting everyday. It all proves how strong you are, my love. You don't need to go through this alone. No matter what that pesky brain of yours wants to tell you,' She made you laugh as she gently poked your head.

Silence settled over you both. It wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't particularly a nice silence. Scarlett being concerned and thinking about ways for you to get help and how she could help you. You, enjoying your mom's embrace but feeling ashamed for your thoughts and what you almost did today.

'How about we go home, get all comfy in our soft matching jammies, I'll make your favourite dinner and we can watch any movie you want and have all the cuddles you want,' Scarlett suggested.

'Sounds perfect mom!' For the first time in a while you didn't have to fake the smile that was on your face. It wasn't big but it was real.