Almost Perfect // l.s

chapter six

One of the few advantages of small-town schools is they're easy to get into. No gates, no metal detectors, no ID badges. That's why I was free to use the track on weekends when there was no football game.

After stretching, I began to run. Normally, I didn't do cross-country, but there's a kind of Zen to running. Round and round and round, back to exactly where I started, day after day. There's a metaphor for ya.

The problem with running is it's a solitary sport. After ten minutes, your internal voices start bringing up the questions you try not to think about.

Could I find happiness away at college?

Were Brenda and I just not meant to be, or did I drive her off?

Why did Dad leave?

Am I really abnormally small, or was that spam e-mail just exaggerating?

Why did Louis get so upset when I tried to kiss her?

She just ran out on me. Why did that bother me so much? One bad date. Most guys had dozens.  Liam could write a book. But every time I thought about Louis, I felt like I owed her an apology. Or she owed me an apology. Somehow, one of us had gotten the wrong impression.

And suddenly, like a root beer stand in the desert, there she was. Louis sat on a bench on the other side of the track, decked out in a fake-fur coat, fake-fur hat, and fake-leather boots. Her face was expressionless, but then, she was an eighth of a mile away.

I did not speed up. I did not slow down. I just kept running in her direction, expecting her to vanish like a bag of Doritos near Niall. But she was real.

I leaned on my knees in front of her, trying not to wheeze.

"How did you know I'd be here?"

She didn't smile. A light breeze picked up, blowing hair in her face. I wanted to reach out and brush it away.

"What makes you think I'm here to see you?"

Instantly, I felt like an ass. She must have been out for a walk.

Louis cracked a tiny smile. "Niall said you usually came here on weekends. I took a chance."

She removed her hat, letting her hair blow wild and tangled in the rough November wind.

I placed my hands on my hips and leaned back. I was trying to act impatient, like I was doing Louis a favor by talking to her but I really wanted to get back on the track. Let her know how it felt to have someone run away from you.

Louis got up and started to walk toward the parking lot. For a horrible second, I thought my plan had actually worked and she was really leaving. But Louis turned and gave me a brief yet kind smile. I followed her.

We didn't speak until we'd reach the crumbling cement basketball courts we shared with the middle school. As we walked, I wished I had a change to duck into the locker room and grab my deodorant. I knew I smelled like sweat, and I didn't want Louis to get a whiff of my lumberjack odor.

Someone had left one of the underinflated PE basketballs on the court. Louis stooped to pick it up, bounced it a couple of times, and tossed it at the basket. She missed it entirely. Either she was terribly uncoordinated, or her height prevented her from making it.

I retrieved the ball, steadied myself, and shot. Nothing but net. I waited for the applause, but Louis was removing her coat. She was wearing a fuzzy white that was so tight I could see the outline of her bra.

Watching her attempt another basket, I suddenly felt incredibly lonely. Most nights, I lived alone. I worked alone. When I ran, I was essentially alone. That was how it had been for the past couple of months. It hadn't bothered me before. I'd never asked Tanya out, or tried to get a regular job, or joined a club or anything.