A Dark and Starless Night

Chapter Forty-Nine

Death was neither cold nor pain.

It was warmth and peace and Eve smiled as she felt both fill her. Light filtered through her eyelids, and she opened her eyes, unsure where she was.

An endless room stood before her. The sky above her was a gentle light, while the ground was smooth and black, like a dark glass. Mist swirled around it, tangling between her legs. And the legs of others.

There were many people here. She knew none of them, or at least struggled to recognise them. Her memories were foggy, as if her mind was leaden with sleep. The people that passed her smiled, some bowing their heads.

One stopped before her, a woman with skin as black as night. Her hair was a dazzling white colour, threaded with glittering gold strands. She wore robes that were stark white and pooled around her feet on the floor.

"Welcome, Even Star of the Undying. You are home."

"Home." Eve tested the word. It felt right on her tongue. Home. Where she belonged. A place of warmth and light and peace. She deserved this. Everyone she met was inclined to agree. She met many of the denizens of the strange place over what could have been minutes, hours, days. Each had stories to tell of happiness and fun. And Eve shared her own stories. Of her friends and family. Of the time she had spent with them. She missed them. Sometimes she missed them so much that the clouds at her feet grew dark.

But then the others would remind her of the pain of the human world. The suffering that came with a mortal life. The suffering that would be waiting if she went back.

She was sitting on a particularly soft pile of cushions, trying not to miss her friends and yet trying to cling on to the memory of their faces, when a woman came and joined her.

She was not the woman who had first greeted her. Her skin was the colour of ochre, covered in white whorls. Her hair was as black as night, but stars seemed to dance in it. Her eyes were a deep, unyielding brown, full of warmth and strength. Like most of the people here, the woman was ageless; Eve couldn't tell if she was old or young.

"You can't forget them," the woman said, a gentle smile on her lips. Her voice sounded young, as if she was no older than Eve. She looked out across the endless space at those who walked or lounged, food or books or wine in their hands. "Truth be told, a lot of the people here have never even stepped foot on the earth. Never walked across scorching sands. Swam in cool oases. Danced under trees or stars. And there are of course, those who have, like you, walked the earth and died there. Stars waiting to be reborn here in the heavens. To look down over their loved ones, their descendants. But never able to join them again."

"There's too much pain down there," Eve replied, arms wrapping around herself. "It's safer here."

"That's true," the woman replied, nodding her head as she looked down through the dark glass. Eve followed her line of sight and was startled to see her own body, mangled and bloody, a stark contrast to the white marble under it. The mist around her grew dark and she felt sick. She looked away, trembling.

The woman caught her hand.

"But look," she said, and Eve complied.

She clambered forward, bracing her hands on the ground.

Her friends. Their faces marred with worry as they asked the bartender questions – even the one that didn't like her looked a little concerned. Or maybe annoyed. The brown-haired girl with a beautiful face spoke to one of her guards, giving him instructions that were clear and demanding. The white-haired man who she didn't really like stood close to the other friend, a comforting hand on his shoulder. And the third friend, the one with the brown hair and the brown-and-gold eyes, looked sick with worry as he ran a hand through his hair, messing the strands up.

Her fingers tingled at the sight, desperately wanting to fix the mess, to feel the silk of his hair against her skin.

Rik. And Fin. And Ali.

And there was May then, tucked in bed, fast asleep as she drooled on her pillow.

And Don as he poured himself a glass of wine, glancing at the clock and then at the front door.

And her mother, Luc fast asleep in his bed, standing on the large balcony that had an incredible view of the southern sea. Yva Mintarryl had her red-rimmed eyes turned skywards. As if she could see through the black glass to where Eve was. As if she knew that somewhere across Zyrna her daughter had left this world.

A drop of water landed on the glass an inch from Eve's hand. Then another. She was crying, she realised, touching her finger tentatively to her cheek.

"Life's pain," the woman said, drawing Eve's attention. "It's hardship. And suffering. There are days, weeks, months where you might wish you'd given up. Where you might wish that the pain would leave you, at any cost. But there will be happiness too. And love. You have so much love waiting for you. So many people you've yet to meet.

"If I could go back..." Her voice caught, snagging, and Eve was surprised to hear such an emotion in this place. "I would give anything to have the power you do, Even Star. The power to break free from this land. To be with those you love for even another breath. I left behind a son. I left behind a great love. But I had no choice.

"You have a choice." She took Eve's hand squeezing it. "I can't tell you what choice to make. And if you do choose to stay here, then you will have peace like nothing else. Unending peace. But you will never see any of them again."

"But this is the afterlife," Eve exclaimed, looking down at her loved ones again.

"This is the afterlife for stars and True Stars. Your mother gave away her true name for the gods of Teryon. She – and all your friends – will go to their afterlife. If it's any consolation, they'll have a peaceful eternity from what I've seen. And the prince... Although he's a star by blood, unless he finds a way to claim his true name, he'll never set foot here.

"You can stay here with us and no one would blame you. Or..."

Or...

Or she could go back. Live her life – however pleasant or painful, however long or short – with her friends and family. Suffering. She had been promised that. And looking at the tattered remains of her body, the star eater still lingering, she knew that pain waited. That there would be other, different pains. Like watching Rik get married to someone else. Like watching Don grow old. Like knowing that her mother loved her but could never understand her.

She saw it then, a glimpse of something that she could feel was yet to come. A moment in a pool of clear water, laughter ringing in her ears, and her heart near bursting with light and love. A love like nothing she had ever felt before. A love that was different to the love she felt for her friends, her family. Different even than what she felt for Rik. Not better or stronger. Just different. Pure and utter happiness, not tainted by worry or fears.

"I want to go back," she said, her voice strained with tears. "I want to go home."

The woman smiled brightly. "I'm relieved. I didn't want to pressure you, but your friends are going to need you. All you have to do to go back is fall. I should warn you that you won't get another chance like this. If you die again... Well, let's just say you're using up the 'undying' part of your true name. So, make this count. It's also very likely," she said, holding Eve's face in her hands gently, "that you won't remember this place. It's only been a few seconds, after all, since your heart stopped."

She placed a kiss on Eve's brow, smiling as she pulled back. She gently pushed Eve backwards. She felt weightless as she slowly fell towards the black glass, the woman's kind face and warm smile taking up her vision.

"Make it count," the woman said, her voice a distant whisper as the ground grew closer. "And finish what I could not."

Eve's back collidedwith the ground and her body took a loud shuddering breath before the worldexploded in darkness and light.