One shots

from hell with love

another night without sleep.

great.

another night with a drink.

great.

she was calculating how many years had she in her hands to live. of course when you let loose yourself straight three months what else can you expect? at least she had lost some weight. that was her purpose since the beginning of the new year.

how's that tradition called? before the zeros are lined up you throw a pomegranate for luck. she snorted at the thought of it. not even the word luck matched with her.

she rejected everything.

everyone.

him.

or another one?

she tried again to remember what was the reason behind all of these actions towards them. one thing was for sure that echoed her ears- the word useless said by her late mother.

another night with the smoke filling the house as if there were planting weeds and people were laughing uncontrollably from nonsense. but she was only seeing men. handsome ones. pulling their clothes off and telling her to come.

then complete darkness.

she had to stop imagining by closing her eyes. but the invitation of these cruel intentions created by her brain were enticing and unbroken. the more she drank or smoked more hallucinations were spreading uncontrollably. and klaw was well aware that one day they'll shut down forever. she tried to get up from the floor but her hands were shaking.

"c'mon," she inhaled sharply. "not again."

one more time she gave it a shot but it was unsuccessful. her body was getting even weaker as days went on and rage started to rise up.

why? she asked herself. what she was doing?

flashback after a flashback klaw could only process that she used every single person to fulfil her plans to become the number one in the diagnostics team. firstly by being the butterfly social girl, secondly by manipulating those boys who were in love with her and lastly by saving someone who was on the verge of death. it was a perfect combination with adding a tiny sparkle of flirt with her direct supervisor and then ditching him to the ethics committee.

it was just a game where she could finally fool people after all these years that she'd been in that place. so why not try while enjoying it at every bit? but there's a quote that says "those who laugh now, will cry in the end". and this couldn't describe much better for her condition right now.

maybe she was too blind from the evil to understand that the people who were friends wouldn't hurt her. still she thought it wasn't her fault that was raised without love and affection and was told many times to not trust into them but only herself. then you can imagine the consequences afterwards.

what was another thing that she hasn't tried yet?

her eyes fell to tiny objects up to the drawer on her right side. she crooked her eyes as somehow to remember why those were in the white colour. klaw sighed while thinking that even her brain was draining too.

"c'mon," she huffed while scratching her head. "not again."

were they candles? she didn't like their scent.

were they toys? she wasn't a kid.

but as the lamp shone everything clicked.

she elicited a laugh and said (god knows how many times) the same words again. "there you are! just in time!"

luckily the drawer wasn't far away from her reach so she wouldn't get up. in her hands she had many pills and in front of her legs the last whiskey bottle unopened. she had been thinking it every single day after the trial day but never had the heart to do it before.

"some things are worth any risk." she repeated his words with a whisper.

if only klaw knew how much she meant to him and how he fell in love with her- maybe she wouldn't let herself fall in the circles of hell.