Stuck

heartbreak

___________________________________
Larissa

I stand and watch in shock as my wife is sedated and took away for an emergency c section. The doctor told us that twin b had stopped growing and was in distress. She said juliet needed taking into an emergency c section incase the other twin was put at risk. I wasn't alowed in as juliet was put to sleep.

So im sat in the waiting room. Alone. Not knowing if my wife or our babies are OK. A man comes and sits opposite me. He looks stressed and he has hold of a gift bag.

"New dad?" I ask trying to take my mind off my family. "Yeah..uh..my wife's having her c section now...I have a habit of passing out with blood so her mothers with her...how about you" he asks smiling at me.

"My..wife's having an emergency section...shes having our 2nd and 3rd kids..boys.." I say looking down at my hands. "Twins...wow...I don't know what to do with one...nevermind 2...how olds the older one?" He asks. "Shes 5...her names belladonna..but we call her bella" I tell him.

"Why is your wife having an emergency..If you don't mind me asking" he looks at me with concern on his face. "The..second twin isn't growing..the doctor said his lungs aren't formed properly and his heart is slow...so they are trying to get them out before it effects the first twin" I say with a shakey voice.

"It will be ok...and if not im sure you can work through it.." he says . I wipe a tear from my eye and nod. A doctor comes over "Thomas...would you like to meet your daughter..".

Thomas stands up and smiles at me "I have a little girl". I stand up and hug him "congratulations...im larissa by the way.". I wave as he walks off. He shouts back to me "GOOD LUCK".

An hour later juliets doctor walks over to me. She gives me a sorry look. "Larissa...we...tried everything we could but the smaller twin died...your other son is in the nicu as he's 11 weeks early" she says. I nod and try not to cry.

"What about juliet?" I ask about my wife. "Juliets perfect...she doesn't know about the loss of baby b because she's still asleep...we wanted to know if you wanted to tell her." She says. "Y..yeah..ill tell her..thanks.." I say.

After a few hours of me going between juliets room and our surviving sons room i decide to stay with juliet.

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Juliet

I wake up to my wife sat next to me holding onto my hand. She looks tired and like she's been crying. "L..lara...the boys.." I whisper out before coughing. She gets up and gets me a cup of water . She helps me sit up before sitting on the end of the bed.

"Jules...we lost one...he..wasn't developing properly" she says. I feel a piece of my heart break away. Tears flood my eyes as I look down at my hands. "W..we did everything to make sure h..he was ok..w..what happened" I say looking at her. "He..was just too special to be here love.." she says.

She hugs me as I cry. "W..what about the other baby" I ask through sobs. "Hes fine...tiny..but fine...they said he could be here for about 4 more months.." larissa says before placing a kiss on my head.

I get let out of hospital a week later. Larissa said i should go back to therapy after what I went through. So I have been. Its now 4 months later. Last night we got the call that we could take milo home when we visit today.

We called him miles Thomas weems. Miles means warrior but we have been calling him milo. Larissa told me about a man she met called Thomas who gave her hope that it would be ok. So we gave him the middle name thomas.

For our angel baby we called him Alexander Samuel weems. Alexander means defender of men. We called him that as he will always be watching over his brother. Samuel seemed fitting to him. His funeral was 3 months ago. My heart broke when I watched his tiny casket being lowered into the floor.

I'm stood at the hospital room window with milo whilst larissa packs up his things. I hold him so his back is against me and my arms under his butt. I point to our car from the window "thats what we are taking you home in...we are going to see your big big sister first so she can meet you..and her girlfriend. You will meet your big sister another time bud".

He screams like he's trying to talk back. "Wow your noisy today " larissa says coming over to us. "Ready to go love?" She asks looking at me. She leans forward to kiss me but milo grips onto her hair and starts throwing his arms about whilst babbling. "Ow ow ow...milo off mommys hair" larissa says.

I laugh and help her get free. "Hes a cheeky monkey today" I say laying him down so he's layed sidewards on my arm. "Arent you?" I say tickling him.