An Encounter in their high school locker room changed Jimin's view, it leaves him unsettled. He is infected by troubling thoughts and dreams. Who will provide him peace now?
I am having a hard time keeping up with the discussion and all the cross-talk. At one point, I am surprised when Taehyung calls out my name. "Jimina, remind us, what is our balance?" he says.
"Our balance?" I say, confused. What does he mean?"You know, money. As in how much we have. You are the treasurer.
How much treasure do we get?" He is annoyed, the discussion isn't trending his way."Oh," I say. I check the printout of our financial spreadsheet I have in front of me. Numbers swirl on the page.
"Well, we underspent last year, um, by about... fifteen hundred dollars... so... we have almost, um..."Where is the right line? I trace down the summation column with my finger, not remembering how I've organized the spreadsheet. I find it after a long, awkward pause. "We have almost seven thousand dollars to spend this year."
"See?!" Taehyung says, addressing the room. "We have plenty of cash, let's spend it. I want this party to be epic."
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Immediately, someone challenges him, talking about wanting to reserve money to bring a speaker from Seoul later in the semester. I look down at the sheet again and feel the chill of fresh perspiration cooling on my neck. The numbers are printed so small.
The black edges at the periphery of my vision seemed to pulse. In the minutes after I speak, I start to see sets of eyes turning to look at me from all around the room. I avoid making eye contact with anyone, training my gaze on Tae, or the wall, or the clock.
After a few minutes, I start to sweat again. Eyes keep turning toward me. Stressful thoughts start to run through my head.
They think I'm stupid. They must have had a discussion about me before I got here. I don't belong here.
I dig my fingernails into my knees under the table. The panicky feeling starts to subside. After a minute, it's almost completely gone.
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I can breathe again. The rest of the meeting flies by in a flurry of animated discussion. As usual, no big decisions are made, but everyone seems satisfied having gathered in the same space to argue, yell, and joke, which is the main reason I think the PSA exists at all.
After most of the people leave, I stay behind with Taehyung and the other board members to help clean up. Everyone is talking about a party they are going to tonight."Jimina, dude, you look like shit," Tae says, cutting through the chatter.
He walks over and grabs my arm. "You, my friend, are working too hard. You need to come and have some fun.
You are coming to this party if I have to knock you out and drag you there!" His face is friendly but his tone is stern."No, I need to study," I say. A chorus of jeers and boos filled the room.
"I don't care, man. Mr. straight-A genius boy can afford to take one night off," Taehyung says."Taehyungaa, I -- "
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He cuts me off. "Enough. You're coming."
I stop arguing. Maybe I do need a break. I haven't been to any parties since being back at school this year.
I am caught up on all my work, and it is only Friday. I have the whole weekend to re-focus. Maybe having some fun will finally allow me to shake off whatever this craziness is... surrounding Hoseok.
Tae is right. I am going to the party, and I am going to get wasted. The party is at a large house near campus where a few PSA board members live with several other friends. There are maybe ten or so people gathered there by the time we show up.
