that's the feeling that stays?

birthday

I don't exactly know why I have that feeling, the sensation of loneliness when someone mentions my birthday.
Since I have memory, I've never actually liked my birthday, and you wanna know why? It's because It's on December 31, on New years Eve, nobody actually cares about something else than New years and new goals. My birthday never felt as something relevant, most of the friends that I've had all over the years never remembered my birthday, or to text me a happy birthday or something like that, I don't expect them to come with a cake or a gift, because I know that they couldn't be able to do that because they're spending new years with their family, and I don't blame them. Not that I actually care, but a small gesture of texting and letting me know that I am important to them is all I need.

And my family, almost all years we would reunite in one house in fancy clothes, and celebrate, eat, drink and whatever adults do at new years eve, they wait till 11pm to sing happy birthday to me with a cake, but it never felt relevant or important.

Now that I have a partner in my life, a Significant Other, I feel that at least it matters to someone who is excited about me turning a bit older each year, they know about the feelings that I've had all these years till now. And I'm grateful that because of them, I'm doing better in life. They've seen me improve, they've seen me fail hundreds of times, and they never judged me for doing so. They know my point of view because I feel that I can be honest with someone who will not break my trust into some little pieces like everyone else in my life.

Uptade: I broke up with them :)