Don't Call Me Angel || VMIN

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It was only when he had gotten his breathing under control that Jimin lifted his head from between his knees, completely thrown out of reality with his mind reeling from the overstimulation. He uttered a timid noise of fright upon spotting the person standing in the doorway. Face stained with glistening tracks of tears and hair ruffled beyond help, he took a moment to reorganise himself and figure out why Taehyung was looking at him like that. He was utterly perplexed as to why his expression was laded with worry.

He dragged a hand across his eyes, ridding them of the remaining droplets clinging to his eyelashes, and stood up, stumbling slightly. Once his footing was stable, he turned to give the other a proper look, picking up on the battle of emotions taking place behind his eyes and hating that it made his stomach flutter.

He was a mess right now and he knew it, trying in vain to flatten the creases along his shirt inconspicuously. After finally realising it was useless, he dropped his arms to his sides and waited for someone to say something, although, it appeared the elder was doing the same. Pondering how best to cover up what had just happened, he spoke.

"Did you need anything?" he asked as casually as possible, acting like he hadn't just had a semi-mental breakdown moments before and yelled at himself.

"We are not going to brush over whatever just happened," came the reply, the exact words he had been dreading to hear, "You can't do that and then act like everything is fine."

"I think you'll find I can and I will," Jimin retorted, watching the other move to the sofa and sit down, indicating very clearly that he wasn't going to let this slide.

Great, just great. He couldn't even hold himself together for one tiny second, could he? Huffing, the younger took several steps backwards and then stopped, his whole body going rigid when his legs hit the edge of the mattress. He'd forgotten how close he was standing to the bed. His frame shook and he stepped away, fists clenched with his nails digging into his palms to stop himself from reacting. He didn't look at Taehyung, he couldn't, not when the brunette had definitely seen him freeze up, and he grappled for an excuse that would make everything seem alright.

There wasn't one, nothing he could say that gave a valid reason for what was happening, except the truth and he didn't much feel like sharing that at the moment.

"Jimin, you can just avoid this forever, not when it's hurting you," the other started, voice noticeably calmer than before, "This isn't how a healthy person reacts to something like that."

Shaking his head slowly, the dancer's gaze hardened and he made no attempt to respond. He knew Taehyung was right, that it wasn't normal behaviour to be scared out of his wits by the mere thought of lying on a bed, let alone touching the sheets, and he felt like a balloon of emotions waiting to burst.

"C'mon Jimin -"

That did it.

"What? What Taehyung?" he finally snapped, fuming at the unfairness of the world closing in around him, "Of course, this isn't fucking normal, I can't even touch the goddamn mattress without freaking out for Christ's sake. I know there's something wrong with me, but it's easier to pretend there isn't than to admit to it and have to face whatever demon has been growing in me for the past eighteen years.

"I'm so fucking scared Tae, I'm so scared that I won't be able to come back from it and I'm sorry if that's not fair for whatever reason, but it's better when I pretend things are alright. At least then I can try to enjoy my life," he stopped to catch his breath.

Not caring about the sounds of the other's brother waking up, Jimin withdrew to the far wall, slamming his head back against the hard surface. He bunched himself up as a pang shot through his heart, as well as his head, upon seeing the pain in the elder's eyes, the pain he was causing.