I love bruises.
I mean, I don't like getting them, of course, but once it's there I like to stare at it or touch it.
I lied.
There is one specific occasion where I do like getting bruises.
If I get a bruise by playing a sport or by working hard on something, then I do like getting the bruise because it feels to me that, as I have worked hard, I've gotten the bruise. So it's like a "reward" for the work I've done.
If playing a sport I get a bruise, I'll think: 'Oh, I've really worked hard today, that's why I got the bruise" .
Kind of like a kid when they're learning something right. I do something, I get a reward. It's that easy.
Then there's what happens after you get the bruise.
It can be a big bruise, or it can be a small bruise.
It may hurt a lot, or it may not hurt at all.
It might be very visible, or it might be almost unrecognisable.
Either way, I love touching it and feeling the sting all over my arm or leg or wherever this bruise may be.
Sometimes, touching the bruise becomes a habit or a reflex thing to do. Maybe while you're thinking or when you're bored you touch the bruise and you feel the little pain that it gives to your body. And you'll keep on touching it unconsciously and not really care about the pain or little sting as you are already used to it.
After a while, maybe some days, maybe a week, the bruise will go away and it will disappear.
At first you won't notice. It's only after you touch the spot and don't feel the sting that you notice the bruise has completely disappear.
If you're anything like me, you'll press the area where the bruise was in order to try and feel the pain that was there before. You will try for a while after finally deciding to stop.
And even if it sounds crazy and stupid you can actually feel like you miss that pain.
At least I do miss it when my bruises heal.
But then again, we move on and forget about that bruise, because, after all, it's just a bruise and we will get more and more bruises, of all the sizes, color, and pains throughout all our lives, and we will be able to feel that little sting that makes us feel alive again at some point in the future.
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My Apology
Non-FictionWhy even try to understand what's going on inside our heads? The mind is a tricky place where you can find so much yet understand so little. Doubts, worries, scenarios and more are flowing throught it like a boat in a harsh ocean wave, yet, why do...
