The Thing About Three

chapter thirty-nine | no coming back

NOAH AND I were a good little couple.

In theory.

In reality, it could get ugly sometimes.

We both had tempers, and could get into some knock-down-drag-out fights if we wanted to, and the last year of our relationship saw more fights than the four years beforehand.

Because that was when I started to have enough of his jealousy, and the guilt he shoveled onto me.

I thought it would cease when Dallas went away. But it never did. It took a toll on me. Every interaction I had with another man made me feel dirty, like I was doing something bad behind Noah's back.

It was worse when he would see the interaction firsthand. He did his best not to say anything in the moment, but I could always feel the anger rolling off of him in sheets.

Sometimes he'd yell at me for it, accusing me of liking another man. Other times he would play the passive aggressive route, driving me insane with his sly comments.

This always resulted in a fight and ended with Noah breaking down and telling me how scared he was of losing me. Somewhere around that sentence he would bring up the "Mommy and Daddy divorced" story, which he had started to use as an excuse for his actions. Every time I got mad at his erratic behavior towards men, he would try and guilt trip me with it.

I tried to avoid those fights by avoiding the situations that got us into them, but sometimes they were inevitable.

Noah and I were still working at Whitlock's four years from the day I had spent with Dallas at the lake.

Noah had been promoted to be an official mechanic, and enjoyed his job thoroughly.

I was starting to feel the opposite. Work had become monotonous to me. It wasn't my passion. But it was comfortable and paid the bills, and had the added bonus of allowing me to be around my boyfriend. Even though, sometimes, working with Noah didn't feel much like a bonus.

Kyler White was hired a few months before I would leave Whitlock's.

He acted like a frat boy, all stupid jokes and no-care-in-the-world personality. He said 'dude' a lot, and had an obnoxious laugh, but was actually pretty funny when you started talking to him.

I liked him—not it a romantic way, more like an annoying little brother way because he was still a teenager and I was approaching twenty-two. But no matter what I felt, Noah didn't care.

He didn't like me and Kyler talking, or even being in the same room together alone, and he made this very vocal.

We got in fights often about the whole thing—him angry at me for even glancing at Kyler and me angry at him for not trusting or believing me.

It was exhausting, and started to create a tear between us.

I wanted to call and tell Dallas about it—because I was always looking for excuses to call Dallas back then—but I ended up telling Hallie and Sierra instead.

Hallie and Sierra had become my best friends since Dallas left and I didn't talk to him as much anymore.

The girls always had a lot to say about Noah.

"He's toxic, Claire," Hallie told me. "Like, really toxic."

Sierra nodded. "Yeah. It's not a healthy relationship to be in. You need to do something."

"Like what?"

"Like break up with him," Hallie replied. That made my heart drop. "I know that may not be what you want to hear, but I think it's time, girl. I mean, you don't really talk about him like you love him anymore."