Femme Fatale (Azriel x OC)

4. Esmeray

I had rushed to one of the townhouses's spare rooms immediately upon arriving in Velaris. The awkward atmosphere, not just between myself and the Inner Circle but between Rhysand and them was just too palpable. After the initial flurry of emotion, no one really knew what to say or do.

So instead of dealing with it, I filled the spacious tub in the bathing room attached to my room with water that was likely hot enough to peel the flesh from my bones. I added a touch of rose scented oil and then lit a handful of candles. Satisfied with the display, I let the gown fall to the ground and stepped out of it and into the tub.

I'd always had trouble keeping warm, but one of the only ways that I'd consistently been able to stave off the cold was through baths that were probably far too hot for any sane person.

I sighed and leaned back against the tub. The fact that I had the luxury to just sit in the bathtub and relax for a night without the threat of some male barging in, claiming me as a gift for the night from Amarantha, was odd enough. But I could also sleep in if that was what I decided. I could go downstairs and simply get something to eat - anything I wanted to eat at that.

Then there was the entire city outside my door that hadn't had those freedoms stripped away at all. The same people who were singing and dancing in the streets, celebrating our return. Fae who didn't immediately associate me as being a whore, and who had actual expectations of me as a leader. The more I thought about it, the more I felt the crushing pressure of anxiety in my chest.

Some strange part of me resented my newfound freedom. It wasn't that I was insane enough to wish for Amarantha to rise up from whatever hell she was roasting in or that I missed being a slave who was beaten and tortured for every misstep.

I just... I just didn't know how to exist without that. There were all these new expectations that were in complete opposition of what I'd been doing for the last half of a century. I wasn't even entirely sure what my new role was in this strange post-Amarantha world.

I dropped my head beneath the water, wishing that I could just scream. But the last thing I needed was Azriel barging in. He was another bullet point on my ever growing list of personal problems.

Now that he knew about the bond... did that change anything? Would we both quietly reject it and go our separate ways? Was he going to feel some backwards sense of duty and try to claim me? What a mess...

I crawled out of the tub at some point and half heartedly dried my body off before slipping into some lace night things that had appeared on the dresser. My eyes were closed the second my head hit the pillow, but sleep did not come easy. It never did.

The house was too quiet for one. There was no distant sounds of screams or the drunken laughter of cruel males. It was just quiet. Disturbingly so.

It wasn't until the hours before dawn that I managed to get any semblance of sleep, but even then it was fleeting.

There was a gentle tapping against my mental shields and my shoulders slumped in relief as I lowered it. "Am I going to have to drag you kicking and screaming down to breakfast?"