Let's all be honest here ,
The pacing is off , not to mention the fact I didn't know what I was doing at first . There's too many inconsistencies as well as the characters being so ooc that they just share names with the actual characters .
I might rewrite it
I have been getting back into Undertale (despite the many bad [like , hyperventilatin inducing bad] memories it holds for me)
So I can probably get back into deltarune ! Maybe . Idk , but these versions are basically OCs anyways.
If you'd like to read what I have planned character wise ..
Notes below for future rewrite if I do
Though jevil needs to be more chaotic , on the edge of snapping so to say . Like. .. JD from heathers , but a delinquent (find references) He needs to be . Chaos . Right ? And more jester-like , though I could only portray that through a comic I've no patience to make(I mean I could , but I'd never use Wattpad for a comic .)
Spamton; more glitchy, also on edge . More prep on edge of breaking , family pressure of inheriting a business type . Less uwu type shit , I fear it seems a bit stereotypical . Light academia aesthetic , I'd say .
Beatrice(b/f/n); She's ok , though she's less unicorns than she is flowers . A foxglove , if you will . And I need to redraw her , she was never meant to be thin nor white . I've just got some issues(I'm not racist I'm literally Hispanic . Also I'm on the chubbier side , so I had almost no reason to draw her how I did other than my own issues .) SO SHE MUST BE BETTER WRITTEN AS WELL AS DRAWN . Shes got some issues , they need to be better potrayed so it won't seem uncharacteristic when stuff happens . Same for y/n and jevil . Everyone , really , since I'm sticking with the whole "The school is basically a death-trap where the students are either killed or killing"
Now the star of the show , y/n; Cynical , untrusting , and rude . But they're loyal , and have a softer side that's rarely seen . How do I portray this ? How do I write them in such a way that , they're not good not bad . How do I write morally gray without any references beyond rose quartz ??? I CAN'T READ ANYWAYS AAAGDHAVZH
They're more grunge/alt than emo , but they need more than sloppy descriptions . I can't rely on much , so if I can get myself to pay attention enough to read more I'll be fine .
Storyline; so many holes in the plot call it swiss-rune . That was a dumb joke , anyways ... Canon characters should make more of an appearance beyond a footnote . Are my sentences too flowery ? Idk . I should write that stereotypical scene where the mc is all emo and lipsyncing a rock/alt song w converse on and jumping on their bed an shit . Y'know ?? I NEED TO MAKE THE DORM LAYOUT+ THE SCHOOL/CAMPUS LAYOUT . FUCK THIS FEELS LIKE A THREE PERSON PROJECT WHY AM I LIKE THIS
End of notes ! Lemme know if I should rewrite it ! This wouldn't get deleted , I'd just make a whole new book lol(with drawings I make)
YOU ARE READING
♤Delinquent!Jevil x Cynical! Reader♤
Fanfictionuhhhh- Based on a oneshot I wrote- So go read that first, aight?- Always check the tags !! Read all of em lmao Btw both you and jevil tend to go a bit far, though jevil starts it. Stupid jEvil-
