Huntress

Chapter 63

"Look at this bath bomb I found you," Ryder said from outside the tub. It had become our nightly ritual. He would carry me from my vegetation point on the couch to the bathroom and run a bath that was the perfect temperature for him. I preferred baths and showers that would melt my skin off, but I had no way of communicating that with him.

He would hoist me in the tub once I was bare and settle me gently into the water. We would watch one of his bath bombs fizzle in the water together – this one a beautiful plum that had a wonderful lavender scent and enough glitter for a parade. He would let me soak for a while as he chatted about his day. Right now, it was mostly just small things for Keiko and Ajax. I didn't know if it was because he no longer felt able to complete his previous job or if he simply refused to leave the property because I was here.

Once he would finish telling me about his day, he would gently dunk my head so my hair and scalp would get wet, then massage some shampoo in. well, it was more of a scrub, really. He didn't have the gentlest touch like the queen did, with him it felt like it was more about efficiency than it was pampering. The conditioner and rinse were no different, but I wasn't blind to the way that he was trying. Sometimes he had the queen show him new ways to braid my hair or would grill her about products to use. He even took my skin care out of my rental and brought it over. He didn't do the process in the order I would have, but I always started my day with SPF on my skin and ended with a moisturizer.

He tucked me into bed – plumping my pillow and silk pillow case every night – then he would give me a chaste kiss goodnight.

Tonight was different. I could see it in the hard lines of his face in the lamplight. Soothing fingers brushed over the scar on the side of my neck which sent a pulse of electricity down my spine, but my body refused to respond to it. "I didn't mean to," he whispered, like the quiet words could make the reality disappear. "I swear to God, I barely remember any of it. I was in the woods. I was far away from here. I remember feeling the heat, I tried to get further away from you in the beginning. Then, it just got worse. I couldn't stop. And then you were bleeding and..."

He swallowed hard, turning away. "George. Georgia, I'm so sorry. If I had known... I wish that I never walked into that café. Fuck, sometimes—" His voice got really quiet then and he couldn't stand looking at me, eyes locked completely on the wall above the headboard. "Sometimes, I wish that Keiko never found me after my parents were killed. I wish that I had just kept drinking and drinking. At the rate I was going, there's no way. There's no way that I would make it long enough to be here, to have done this to you."

The touch on his cheek was featherlight. He flinched as if he had been slapped. Frankly, I was so startled that it was my hand touching him, that I almost flinched too.

"Georgia?" Tears trickled down his cheeks, cutting down his jawline before dripping onto his soft teeshirt.

"Mine," I rasped.

And he was. he was mine with all of the scars on his fingers and arms. He was mine with his ugly tan lines for always wearing gloves on the mountain bike. He was mine with the scratchy stubble on his jaw line and the terrible jokes. And I wanted every stumble, every failure that he brought. It hurt me to think of him wasting away, drinking the ache away in bars, but that was the man I loved. The idea of losing him, even if it came with the freedom to move my body again, to speak my own words, it was brutal. Unbearable.

"I'm all yours, Georgia. I promise. And I promise that I'm going to stay sober and I'm going to take care of you."

I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to tell him that he was doing everything perfect. And that I could respect his decision and understand if he needed to take a break. But the dreams were calling. She was there, the woman with glowing freckles and her marbles. I knew it wasn't really her, just a ghost of what I knew. But I went to her anyway.