Huntress

Chapter 68

I stayed the night. There was too much going on in my head. And I was exhausted, the kind of tired that seeped into bones and left me cold and brittle. Ready to break into tiny fragments at any given moment. I couldn't make a decision then. If I allowed myself the liberty, I probably would have packed a suitcase and booked a flight, leaving everything behind.

Keiko came to check up on me once or twice. I wanted to ask her how Ryder was doing, why he hadn't come to see me yet. Somehow, the words I needed to say remained trapped in my mouth and I asked about Milo instead.

"He's alright. We're going to let him rest up in the holding cell nearby, the one you and Ryder were in," she explained. "It sounds cruel, but he's in no shape to drive and on the other hand, I can't have him in my house like this. Not with my daughter here. Once he's a little healed up and we know he'll be fine on his own, we'll drive him home."

I understood perfectly well and nodded slowly.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Bleak. A little dead. Hopeless. Lost. "I'm doing fine," I assured.

She didn't believe me for a second and it was entirely plain on her face. Thankfully, she didn't push it. she just offered to bring me a plate of food when supper was ready and check in on me in the morning. So, I ate the soup that Ajax prepared alone in my room, on the bed. To be honest, when my arm trembled with the strain of lifting the spoon to my mouth over and over again, I was grateful to be alone. Once a fierce predator, a feared hunter. Now this.

I slept restlessly in the bed that was not my own and when I awoke, I knew it was time to go.

My legs wobbled and complained when I crossed the hall to use the washroom, sitting on the toilet was almost a relief. My arms protested when I brushed my teeth and my core swayed a little. After being propped up with bedding and blankets for months, I suppose that I should have expected this. I should have been able to look in the mirror and see what I had overcome.

Instead, I saw sunken cheeks. Hair that frizzed. Eyes that were tired. Skin hung off my bones with no muscle to support it. I had been a powerhouse. I could have stood in front of a mirror for hours and admired the hard lines of my muscles, the curve of strength when I flexed. When I used to look in the mirror, I saw hours of hard work in the gym, a relentless diet that I seldom strayed from. And purpose.

Now, I was this.

My legs couldn't hold me up for long so I was forced to take my thoughts elsewhere, mostly on just staying upright and moving.

The duffle bag that had been used to move my belongings out of the assisted living community was in the corner of the room I was occupying. Judging by the hand painted lamps and the art on the wall, they wouldn't miss it much. If they could afford to have originals in the guest bedrooms, I knew they could replace the bag. I had to take a couple breaks while packing my simple belongings, but I managed to get most things wrapped up quickly.

"Ajax!" I shouted while leaning against the door frame. He had carted me around for months already, what was one more trip down the stairs. "Ajax!"

But the person who appeared at the top of the steps did not have auburn hair or cunning eyes paired with that knowing arrogant smile. When the warmth that I expected didn't sweep into my system, I doubted my eyes. I couldn't be Ryder if it didn't feel like him. Then I remembered that the mate bond was gone.

"Ajax and Keiko are driving Milo home. They wanted to make sure he got home safe," Ryder said gently. He met my eyes for a brief second then glanced away. "Is there anything I can help with?"

"I want to leave," I stated. "I already packed my bag. I just don't have a car here and I don't even know if I'm capable of driving if I don't trust myself to make it down one flight of stairs."