People Talk

03

It had been a week since the festival and I still hadn't called Dallas. Don't get me wrong, I had tried. I planned what to say, called him, listened to it ring a few times then I'd hang up.

There was just something about him that made me nervous unlike anyone before. I knew I was gay, I had crushes on plenty of guys before but never like this. Dallas had a tight hold on me. And I hated that he did.

I knew I was mistaking his friendliness as something else because I wasn't used to it.

All my life I had been lonely. I never went out of my comfort zone, I never tried to make new friends or talk to anybody for that matter. If the teacher had a project that required partners, I'd work alone. If I was called on in class, I'd stare down the teacher, waiting for him to move on. I ate my lunch in the bathroom stalls, stayed home every weekend unless I was going on a walk to the park, I rarely found myself ever having fun.

When I was younger, I had plenty of friends but one incident later and I lost all of them. I needed them but they didn't need me.

I had grown to be okay with having no one. I didn't love it but I couldn't do anything about it.

I learned that if I had no one, no one else could hurt me. I became overly independent not daring to ask or take anything from anyone. I wouldn't let anyone else let me down.

Yeah, I might have wished for years for someone to pay attention to me, Dad was always at work and Mom was too high and sleeping with someone. But, you can't always get what you wish for. Instead, I learned to take care of myself and that's what I intended to do.

But, Dallas. When I was around him, I didn't want to keep being cold and quiet, I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to see his smile. His perfect toothy grin where he smiled so hard his eyes squeezed shut. I wanted to hear his laugh, and his stupid voice.

He was going against every wall I had spent years building up and it was terrifying me.

But I couldn't just push him away. It felt impossible to push him away.

"Eden," I heard Dad say as he entered my room. I pulled an earbud from my ear as I sat up, "There's someone at the front door for you."

I furrowed my brows before I turned to my alarm clock that sat beside my bed. The screen read, 11:37. I spun back around to Dad with eyes even wider.

He seemed to understand exactly what I was asking with my silent expression, "Yes this late. Now go!"

Without much thought, I jumped out of bed, shoving my phone into my pajama pants pocket. I took a right out of the hallway, past the living room and down the few steps that lead to the front door.

I threw the door open, immediately making my cheeks flush.

In front of me stood Dallas. Dressed in a white tee under a dark green checkered flannel, blue jeans and his dirty boots.

"Why didn't you tell me you where coming over?" I whined, dropping my eyes to the ground inspecting my outfit. Heat practically radiated off of my cheeks as I noticed I was wearing my SpongeBob pajama pants.

"Well somebody never called to give me his number." Dallas pointed out, accusingly as I ruffled my hair.

I squeezed my eyes shut, "I'm sorry. I was going to I just didn't want to call to early and bother you. I tried to call I just backed out because," when I opened my eyes again, Dallas had his arms crossed over his chest, head slightly titled to the side.

Just watching with a smug smile on his pink lips.

"Are you always so nervous?"

I chuckled blandly, mirroring his pose, "So um.." I scratched my neck. "What's up?"