People Talk

07

Dallas POV

Eden rolled down his window, immediately causing harsh winds to rush in.

"I thought you said you were tired?" I asked, taking my eyes away from the road for just a moment to look at the boy in the passenger seat.

Eden had his eyes shut, a small smile pursed on his pink lips.

"It's a nice night, I don't wanna waste it." His voice soft yet thick with exhaustion.

After his confession of sorts, we swam for hours until it was around 2 in the morning. We decided to head home when it got that late. Now, we were driving back.

"It's pretty late, do you just wanna stay the night?" I asked, once more lifting my eyes from the road to the resting boy.

His legs now curled up on the seat, my jacket draped over his body, wet hair flying in every direction as he laid on the open window.

I chuckled, realizing he had already fallen asleep. I turned the radio up just slightly to fill the silence, trying to drown out my own thoughts about tonight.

It didn't work though. The music would never be loud enough to ever make me stop thinking how I did.

I always tried to ignore them. Not think about it and just move on with my life. Distract myself by staying busy but it never worked. Especially after Eden telling me his own personal trauma, it really made my memories flood back extra vivid tonight.

Almost every night I still thought about Drew. I didn't miss him, I missed what we had.

Before Leah and I were just us, we had another friend. His name was Drew. He was in the grade above us, quarterback on the football team, handsome, smart, and not a complete jerk. Or so I thought.

We met by being the same agriculture class when I was a freshman. At first we didn't talk much but one day he asked for help and it all started from there. Soon he was sitting with us at lunch and before Leah and I knew it, we were even hanging out after school.

Every thing was perfect, except for the way that I felt about him. It wasn't just a friendly feeling, it was different. It was how Leah described her feelings towards him.

I felt disgusting for even feeling the slightest bit of how she did for him. He was a boy and so was I. I was taught my whole life that being gay was wrong, gross and you'd end up in hell.

But, I just couldn't help it. I didn't know what to do.

When he called me that night, I came over right away. It was just a movie until I felt a hand brush my knee. I didn't pay much attention to it, it had to be an accident, but when he brought his hand to my inner thigh I knew it wasn't.

I'll never forget how he leaned down into my ear and whispered, "I've seen the way you look at me. You think I haven't noticed?"

It was hard to breathe, hard to focus when he didn't move from my neck. Before I could even say anything, Drew's lips pressed into my neck causing me to instantly tense up. He pulled me in and kissed me, everything that had been so confusing felt so right in that moment.

It didn't take long for it to escalate. Him throwing off my clothes, me taking off his, knocking things off of the coffee table when we threw the pillows off the couch.

Drew was my first.

I'll regret that till the day I die.

The days after he wouldn't talk to me, he avoided me at lunch, in class, outside of school. And when Leah started asking why he was avoiding us, I caved.

To say she was upset would be an understatement. I slept with the guy she liked, hell I'd hate me if I was her.

Leah forgave me because that's just who she is. She knew I was already torturing myself enough about the whole ordeal. Still unable to believe that I did those things with a guy while also fighting how badly I wanted to see him. 

When Leah got angry enough with the way Drew was acting she dragged me along to confront him. We cornered him in the parking lot and Leah demanded to know why he was acting like such a child.

"What is wrong with you? You're just going to ignore you're friends forever?" Leah yelled.

"Who said anything about you two being my friends? I would never be friends with a faggot and a fat slut."

What hurt the most was that he didn't even hesitate. It's like he had practiced the insult a thousand times before in the mirror.

It was bad to miss what we had, I knew that but I couldn't help it. If I just looked past the worse parts, pretended the rest didn't happen, I could imagine some kind of happy ending.

It was stupid. It is stupid. But I was so desperate to be happy, to finally feel something, that I'd take whatever I could get from him.

"Can I stay the night?" Eden's voice interrupted my thoughts causing me to jump, "or is it weird after.." He trailed off, referring to our previous conversation.

"God no! It's not. I promise." I assured him, turning on to our dirt road. "I'd really like it if you stayed."

Eden chuckled, "Even if I fall asleep as soon as we're inside?"

I smiled, nodding as I approached the driveway and turned into it.

Our secret entrance was interrupted by Sadie catching us at the front door, alerting the whole house with her loud barking that we were back. Eden laughed quite loudly, before slapping a hand over his mouth in attempt to silence his self. When our eyes locked for a split second, he began laughing through his hand.

I rolled my eyes, a toothy grin spreading widely on my cheeks.

"What part of sneaking out do you not understand, E?" I whispered, catching myself laughing as well. I pushed him along, letting him lead our way into the dark house. Which resulted in him running into almost every single part of the house on our way there, which obviously caused even more stifled laughter from the both of us.

When we finally made it to my room, Eden was practically bursting at the seams to cackle. He fell back onto my bed, clutching his stomach with his free hand and still suppressing the airy gasps that escaped his lips.

"Remind me to never take you out late again," I said as Sadie jumped onto the bed, then onto Eden.

"I'm sorry!" He let out a breathless laugh, "I don't even know what's funny anymore!"

That perfect cheek to cheek smile didn't leave his face as he finally caught his breath, beginning to pet Sadie. As I watched the two, it clicked. I instantly had to look away in shame. These feelings for Eden weren't just friendly.

I guess they had been there the whole time but right now, they way he laughed, how he smiled, how he was looking at me, I couldn't just pretend to ignore them anymore.

"You okay?" Eden snickered, those doe brown eyes glistening through stray pieces of damp hair. Even when messy, he was perfect.

"I'm fine." I lied because I couldn't tell him the truth. More specifically, I wouldn't. Not unless I wanted to be an outcast or have another repeat. So I stayed quiet.

And I planned to keep it that way.