Go Big or Go Home - 이희승/Enhypen

The usual morning *fluff*

He was delicately holding my hand, my palm on his, soft but secure as his thumb was drawing shapes on my hand and my face was hidden in his chest. His other arm was holding me to his warmth, a hand softly raking through my hair, almost massaging my scalp.

Just our soft breathing was heard in the quiet room and I could feel each single breath he took underneath me, his chest moving me upwards ever so slightly with each inhale.

We had been awake like this for about half an hour already. Awake but not ready to tell that to the rest if the world. Just hidden in our room in the dorm, hiding from our responsibilities ahead. Another day of preparations for our 2nd album.

Neither of us said anything, just lost in the feeling of comfort and warmth. At one point within the last 5 minutes he had started nusseling his face into my hair, leaving soft kisses and I could even feel his lips forming into a satisfied smile as his warm breath caressed my temple.

A content noise escaped me with every kiss he left and every touch of his nose running along my skin when he took in the scent of my shampoo. And I was so glad I had washed and conditioned my hair last evening.

For moments like this, it was worth all the internal struggle. This feeling of happiness was the very reason why I would go to all the lengths I could, to keep him by my side, to be able to see him so relaxed and serene. To feel love and be loved.

With that thought, I squeezed him a little tighter, as if I tried to hide in his arms a little further, as I knew it was a temporary bliss that I had to leave soon enough. But I knew he would always take me back into his embrace and be there for me after those few hours of pretend were over.

And while the thought of my life, the thing I was suppost to life an breath for, being the most dreaded part of my day, being the time I had to pretend to be something, scared me more than I could fathom, these few hours of night in a locked room, that felt so much more real, made up for it. If I could stay here forever, I would.

But we both knew we couldn't.

"Babe" I broke the silence with a whisper, lifting my head to look at his face, careful not to bump into him. He hummed in response, eyes slowly opening one after the other, pupils wide with affection. "We should get up now. We need to get the kids ready for practise"

I still hadn't sat up completely, trying to savour the warmth until the latest possible moment and he seemed to think the same thing as he only slowly untangled his arms from me and pushed himself onto his elbows, pressing a lingering kiss onto my forehead as he slowly rose further.

He hummed again in acknowledgement, still a little drowsy. But when he took me in again, amusement crinkled his eyes and formed his lips into a heart-shaped smile, supressing a laugh.

"What?" I asked, also starting to smile as his mirth had always been contagious to me.
"Your hair." He laughed now. "You look like a poodle."
His body shook mine with his waves of laughter tumbling through his chest.

"G, thanks" I deadpanned. "And who's fault is that, huh?" I poked his sides and he let out a slightly higher pitched laugh, while quickly sitting up, guiding me upwards with him in order to safe himself from any oncoming tickle attacks.

When his laughter died down he placed his large hands underneath my ears, thumbs caressing my check as he pulled my face up to his, leaving a kiss right on my lips, while smiling into the kiss. I let out a happy noise, grateful for the soft mornings like this, where everything felt fluffy and warm.

A knock on the door separated us, my forehead still almost touching his. The door gave a *thump* as the handle pressed down, but didn't allow entrance to whoever was trying to corrupt our peace.

Luckily , we had quickly taken to locking the door every evening before sleeping, claiming it to be for "safety reasons" whatever those could be ... really It wasn't uncommon for female idols to lock themselves in every night to avoid intruders, but I didn't know that excuse would work in a household of 7 additional manchildren.
But when I claimed it was a "girl thing" and "just helped me sleep at night", the others didn't have the heart to question it. And while I felt bad, abusing the bad treatment of females within the industry as an excuse for spending time with the one I loved, I tried to reason with myself that u did feel much much happier and safer within Heeseung's arms, behind that locked door. Just not how they had assumed.

"Noona, Hyung, are you up yet? The managers are arriving in 30 minutes to pick us up and Jay won't wake up again." Sunghoon complained through the door, sounding grumpy and aggravated.

He was likely ready to strangle Jeongseong after having tried everything he could think of to get the boy to get ready. And from how I knew Jay, he was likely actually awake already, enjoying sunghoon's misery by acting as if he was deeply asleep. The usual.

"Have you tried threatening him with Jungwon?" I replied, moving to collect my clothes and getting dressed in comfortable joggers and a cropped shirt and hoodie on top. Heeseung's hoodie, to be excact, but no one had to know that.

"Jungwon's already in a meeting for the concept photo shoot."
I groaned, knowing that it was going to be an exhausting day for our leader.

Hee had meanwhile changed and opened the door for sunghoon, who now looked at him questioningly.

"Weren't you wearing something else when you went to bed?"

Oh right.. they still thought we always changed in the bathroom for privacy, to make sure I never felt uncomfortable rooming with a man, who was to them, essentially my coworker and chosen family.
They thought I was the same to him as they were to me. And like they'd assume, I wouldn't wanna change in front of them. Why should Heeseung be different in their eyes?

I softly kicked the discarded clothes further behind the bed with a swift and unnoticed motion of my foot and furrowed my brows, looking into Sunghoon's face with seemingly confused doe eyes.

"What do you mean? I just threw on another hoodie on top, you know how cold I get in the mornings..."

"Don't be weird, Sunghoon." Heeseung added and pushed past him through the doorframe to dismiss further questions.

'Oh yes, the feeling of gaslighting your bandmates in the early morning, how I already love this day.' I thought as Sunghoon just shook his head and asked (demanded) for my help with Jay.

Which I did.

"PARK JEONGSEONG, stop bullying Sunghoon and get up. I know you're awake. You still need to get ready!"