Wake Up

Chapter II - Notepad

I wake up sweating. Again. Another nightmare. The usual. I've resolved to acknowledge the nightmares and move on from them. What I used to do is just ignore them and push them to the back of mind. Not anymore.

I think about the bad dream as I brush my teeth, get dressed, and eat breakfast.

Fear walks down the stairs, wide awake.

"Morning, Feuerstein." He says in an oddly cheery voice.

"Hello, Fear." I reply. He turns to me again and squints.

"What?" I question.

"You going emo on us or something?" He asks, pouring a bowl of cereal.

I look down at what I'm wearing. All black. "Oh. Nah. I hardly noticed my outfit to be honest." I take a few bites of my breakfast then ask, "Why are you so chipper this morning?"

He looks up at me quickly and starts grinning like an idiot.

"My dear friend, I-"

"Not friends." I interject, taking another bite of a muffin.

"- am engaged."

The bite of muffin is now lodged in my throat. I begin to choke, but the biscuit is quickly dislodged because Fear- of all people- patted my back to help me cough.

I almost don't want him helping me. The universe seems to twist when he does. Nothing feels right.

"You asked Doubt to marry you?"

"Uh-huh." He says, grinning from ear to ear through a mouthful of Lucky Charms.

"And she said yes?"

"Thanks a lot Feuerstein." He glares at me.

"N-no I didn't mean it like that! Congratulations, Fear. I'm just.. shocked is all." Its not a lie, as hard as that is to believe.

There's a knock on the door. Fear almost falls off of his chair.

"She's here." He says, his voice cracking. Then he shushes me.

"I didn't say any-"

"Shh!" He says again, making a beeline for the front door. I barely stifle a laugh. His nervousness and excitedness is funny.

What I didn't tell Fear is that I've been afraid of them getting married. There's no way Fear would move out of the mansion. So that means, one-hundred percent all day every day, I'd have to deal with Doubt.

I'm gonna have a mental breakdown if these two end up having kids.

I start to feel light headed thinking about all this. I head to the basement. I look around.

I mean really.

This place looks like a tornado hit.

I pick up a few papers. One in particular catches my eye. It has Trust's name written on it.

Even if we both break down tonight

And you say you hate me

And we go to bed angry

I know everything will be alright

I'll be here waiting

I promise I'm changing

I just need time

My heart cracks. I wrote that for Trust. I never finished it. I need to. Right now.

---

I run through so many lyrics. Nothing's working.

I decide to try something new. Rap.