Things Change (Young Justice)

Chapter 4

4.

"When its gone, you'll know what a gift love was. you'll suffer like this. So go back and fight to keep it."

― Ian McEwan

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Time wore down Artemis like the crashing waves of the beach eroded boulders into tiny grains of sand. The papers on the coffee table only piled up as Artemis struggled to keep the family afloat while making sure Iris and Jai wouldn't feel their poverty. She had always believed that if she had children she would never let them experience the same childhood she had. There would be trips to the park, walking down to the ice cream store on a hot summer day, cheering on as they kicked the soccer ball down the field. But without someone beside her, she hardly had the time to go to the park. The ice cream parlor was on the other side of town. She could never get the kids to play soccer.

And one day, as she sat hunched over the coffee table, she realized how badly she had failed. She had failed plenty of things in her lifetime—missions, tests. But none of those compared to how badly she had failed at being a parent.

They were 8 years old. Artemis could hardly believe that now she was 28. Time had eluded her, one day she was 18 and staying up all night studying with Wally, then all of a sudden she's a widow who can barely scrape by.

The hardest part of losing Wally was moving.

It was a few months after she realized she was pregnant. The apartment was too small for a child. It held too many soiled memories, irredeemable reminiscences of happiness and laughter and pulling all-nighters.

She had wanted to get rid of all of Wally's possessions. Just looking at the framed photo of them sitting on the side table beside their television made her vision blur with tears. She had dozens of boxes ready to pack up and a mover scheduled to pick up those boxes. She thought she was ready to give up those moments and box them away forever.

But just picking up that photo caused her to break down. She had tried to pack something simpler. The clothes still had the faint smell of laundry detergent and citrus, the smell Artemis bathed in when she woke up in Wally's arms. But having that odor waft into her nostrils, it only made her curl up and bawl in their closet until Zatanna checked in on her a day later. By then the tears had stopped and she was just sitting there, staring at the old brown parka Wally loved so much.

In the end, Zatanna packed up everything while Artemis sat down on the couch, absent-mindedly watching TV. She had tried to help, but everytime she would start to sniffle and Zatanna would shoo her away. And after everything was packed away and moved to the one-story house with two bedrooms, they had a very special girls night out. Of course, she was forbidden to fight crime like the old days because of her unborn child, but they still had fun laughing at old mishaps and how things changed.

Because things have changed.

Artemis is lucky to get a call from Zatanna once a week. They tried to get together once a month, but eventually that fell through too. Barry and the Wests used to check up on her daily, but now a visit from Jai and Iris' grandparents was a special occasion. Bart used to zip in and play with the kids weekly, spraying jokes and helping them keep their powers in check. But with missions and how he had grown up, he hardly had time to say a quick hello.

The worst change was losing touch with the Team.

And by team, she meant the original six. Minus herself and Wally of course. Dick rejoined the team a few years back, after giving up on finding Wally like everyone else had. He and Kaldur had taken the role of co-leading the Team. They had pressured Artemis to retire after they too realized she was pregnant. Being stubborn as she was, she insisted on being Tigress for just a little longer, but Dick refused to put the life of whoever was growing inside of her in jeopardy. M'gann and Superboy's relationship had bloomed over the years, M'gann learning the limit to her powers and Superboy accepting her for who she was.

The Team had fused with the Justice League.

At least, that's what she's heard. Most of them functioned more covertly, but they had stopped treating them like kids long ago. They were adults, ready to take on the world like any other vigilante.

Eight years is a long time to keep out of touch. But Artemis was serious about leaving the hero life behind this time. That's why she tried to limit Jai and Iris' powers. She didn't want them to be heroes. Call her greedy, but she had already seen one speedster she loved perish, she couldn't risk losing another.

And maybe that's why she stopped picking up the phone when Barry called. Maybe that's why she always made excuses when Bart barged in. Maybe that's why the conversations between her and Zatanna got shorter and shorter, until they stopped altogether.

Maybe that's why she no longer had any friends. Maybe that's why she was so utterly lonely.

Brucely had been her only companion through the years. Artemis believed he mourned Wally's disappearance just as much as she had. Maybe it was the downcast look in his big brown eyes, or how his tail always stayed low to the ground. Maybe it was because every day, his posture got a little poorer, his health slowly deteriorating.

He was 13 years old now. And a 13 year old dog is supposed to look old, but not as old as how Brucely looks.

His skin sticks to his ribs like glue. Artemis had a hard time coaxing him to eat, especially since she usually didn't want to eat herself. He had trouble walking now because of how badly he had treated himself over the years. Artemis knew it was her fault Brucely was this way. He was just a dog. But when she was away for three months on the Manta Submarine, Wally was the only one to care for him. Maybe that's why he noticed his absence immediately. He hardly recognized Artemis when she walked in the door with red eyes and pale skin. But he did notice the distinct lack of a certain red-headed idiot.

And as if on some magical cue, the weary sound of paw steps on hardwood rang in Artemis' ears. The white dog himself walked in, with slightly matted fur and sunken eyes. His movements were slow and tired, but eventually he dragged himself onto the couch and lay down beside Artemis. She laid a hand on his back, feeling the distinct bones of his spine.

As Artemis' stormy gray eyes traveled from the paper piles to the drowsy dog to the framed portrait of two stick-figure children holding the hands of a blonde-haired woman and finally to the torn and worn-down poster of a young blonde and a Cheshire cat, she realized something. She wasn't Alice; she wasn't in some world with a crazy red-haired Mad Hatter and a cat with a grin that disappeared when responsibility called. No, she was just a heartbroken woman with a tendency to ruin everything. She was like everyone else; she couldn't just ride off into the sunset or live in a castle forever with no worries. There are no Happily Ever Afters for a girl like her.

Besides, there are only so many to go around.

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A/N: I guess this is a semi-short chapter compared to some of the other ones I had written. Anyways, it's been long due I've updated this story so here's the next chapter! Please enjoy!