The man with the metal arm

Part 1

"OK Sam, this is your first session with us. Would you mind giving us a little more information about yourself so that we can understand how to help you?" she asked her tan cardigan falling through the sides of the chair.
"Um." I muttered out loud wondering if the words I was thinking should even be said aloud. "I uhm... my dad he uh." I paused , taking a breath and pulling my glasses from my face. "My dad he's uh he's gone and um..." I paused again, holding the tears from falling. "it was my fault. And god please don't say it wasn't my fault because i know that's exactly what your going to say, that's what everyone has been telling me t-.'' I paused, closing my eyes and taking a breath.
"That's what everyones been saying, but it is my fault it's mine."
"Sam, If you don't mind elaborating why do you believe that it's your fault
"Do you want me to set the scene or do you just want me to tell you?"
" A scene would be a lot more helpful if you don't mind."
"I mean your kind of therapist, so whatever you say goes. Right?" I asked.
"Sam, if you aren't ready to give me that information then you are not obligated to. But I need to know some more information about you." she said in a calm voice crossing her right leg over her left.
"Well my dad's dead it's my fault i couldn't stop it. God, I can usually stop shit like that. Why was it then that I couldn't do anything?" I said my voice fell to where it became ineligible for anyone else to hear.
"Sam, I need you to speak up. You're in a safe space."
"I can usually stop stuff like that, that's who I am, that's what I do. so why was it in that moment the moment that my dad died why couldn't I stop it.'' I asked.
"Sam, I can't help you unless you tell me what happened. and I know that's very difficult for you, but I'm unaware of what happened at that moment so there's nothing I can do to help you unless you tell me." she said, pulling her clipboard into her lap.
"Okay yeah, fine." I said. "I don't know if it was a depressing afternoon. There were clouds in the sky, the wind was ugly it was humid. we had just left from the movies... the movie theater downtown in Middleboro.  I haven't been there since I was like 5, while since may 12 2007. It was where I was born and raised. Well near where I was born and raised we were walking down the street. We were going to go to my old house in 2007 and yeah I know it's been a long time but  I've been to multiple therapists. multiple none of them have been able to tell me what's going on.  I took a break and now I'm back... god can you put the fucking clip board awat it's getting on my nerves." i paused.
"Sam. I can't put it away, I need to be able to jot down what I need to." she responded.
" don't lie to me I know that's what you use to jot down my psychiatric problems. I'm crazy. I get it. I've been told that millions of times. But I'm not and I keep telling therapists. But you know what they say in response.  that "It's okay we're going to get you help" but, they don't fucking  listen to me. My Dad died cuz of  some crazy dude with a metal arm. He had a gun. And he just came out of nowhere. Like some mission to kill my dad. It was fucked up. I was 23 and I was in town from college. I hadn't spoken to my dad in years, 5 years. He wasn't the best man but he was my dad and that's all that counts. But,  I was finally okay with him. and you know what happened to him. He gets shot and killed the day i get home. I tried running after the guy that did it but he disappeared and when I came back for my dad he was gone too. I dont know what happened, He just disappeared just like the guy with the fancy arm. No blood traces, not even a scent that a dog could pick up. So i went to the police screaming for help i told them everything they walked to the area and they said... nothing. Besides the fact that i Need to go to therapy. then even had me go to court thinking that i had done something when my mom called, crying crying to the station that her husband went missing. She hasn't been the same since with good reasoning. So i left, and now i am in New York trying to get my life back together. But, I dont even know where either of them went. What i do know, is that i need to know otherwise, im going to drive myself fucking mad."  I said and once I finished i was finally able to take a breath.
"Okay, okay sam. So the guy had a medal arm. Do you remeber what he looked like?" she asked.
"Long dark brown hair, dark i believe black glasses covering his eyes. and a mask covering the rest of his face. I couldn't see through the glasses so I don't know what his eyes looked like. He was 6 foot probably shorter. He wore protective material. Like gun proof. That's all i remember.'' I responded.
"That's great, really helpful Sam, and you said it was down in middleboro?" She asked, placing the blue plastic clipboard in her lap.
"Great?"
"Sam that's not what i-" "great that my dad died or great that the reason i remember the man is because everytime i close my eyes i see him. Look, I don't even want to be here truthfully doc. But I feel like I'm gonna end up where my dad is if I'm not." I said.
"I understand, I get how it is, what losing a parent is like. It's not fun,"she said.
"You have no idea what this is like." I said gruffly.
"Your right.however, having someone to-" "someone to emphasize with is better because it feels like someone's there for me? I don't need someone. I need to know who did this."
"And what is your plan after that?" She asked.
"I'm sorry? My plan? Doc, if I told you my plan I would be put in an asylum." I responded.
"Okay, So when you find him you want to hurt him?" She asked me to pick up the clipboard.
"Doesn't everyone want to hurt someone who hurt them first?" I asked.
"Yes, but most of the time revenge isn't the smartest play. But Sam, backtracking, what did you mean when you said 'I can usually stop stuff like that.'?" She asked.