Thoughts

2023

It's just the 3rd day of the new year and here I am bawling my eyes out..
This is as rough as it gets and I can't even do shit about it but stomach this life I have..
I don't know if this is just a test for me by life or this really is the year where I may come to pass? Who knows, either way, I'm fucking terrified of what may happen soon.
I don't want to lose her, I don't want to lose my sanity, I don't want to be left all alone again.. as it's already my everyday, I'm chained down to my room with no one to interact with, and I'm scared that perhaps even my most loved person may go away from me because how I am treated here.. I'm sick of being a slave, I'm sick of being a prisoner of my own home with no freedom to do what I wish, with no freedom of the things I long to do.. nothing.. all I'm left is this pathetic room filled with all my scars and blood from all the pain I've been through without them knowing what's truly happening to me.. tragic.. is all I can say about myself.. a walking tragedy filled with bruises and scars..