xenon dreams

Prologue: that's your funeral

Chuck's point of view

The sun had broken out over our heads once they had lay her down to sleep, the first time I had seen the sun in what felt like eons. A strange new world for sure before us and even more so the case with me. If had to be a widower for the rest of my life, I would, just so long as I didn't have to touch another woman, or another man for that matter. I would rather die than have to undergo that whole nonsense. I swore Tiffany would be by my side forever, even if one of us went in the middle of the night.

She beat me to it. I stood there before her polished soft pink coffin with that thought firmly lodged in mind. My chick beat me to it.

To think that she was the one for me. I knew from the very second I saw her after our first show as Testament that she was the one for me. And yet she still slipped away from me.

She lay there right next to me in bed and I had my hand on her shoulder. I stroked her like I always did in the mornings, and I had a strange feeling within me, like something was wrong there.

I lifted myself up and I lingered over her blonde head, her hair still smooth and glossy as I had always known. Her skin was extra pale and she had not felt as warm to the touch as I had recalled from the night before. I still recalled the last thing she told me before she lay down the night before, "I'll see you in the morning, baby."

I had a dream that she and I had our first child together, after so many months of trying to do that no less.

I had a question for the coroner and that was how in which she had died in her sleep, and yet the son of a bitch never told me. We had no issues with our heater and we had all the time in the world as far as I was concerned. The results were inconclusive, and he scrawled out the completely futile words "natural causes", even though she was perfectly healthy.

Add to this, we were the only relationship out of the bunch here in this brave new world where we hadn't been caught up in the middle of all the switching back and forth between lovers. I never understood how a series of mushroom clouds over California and D.C., and a bunch of robots managed to bring us this strange fabric of arranged marriages that we had now, but they happened. Tiff and I somehow managed to escape the numbers called out, and we posted up in our little roost there in Astoria.

If there was one thing each and every one of us loved it was the fact that we all relocated to Oregon before the nukes fell down: Tiff and I took to the northwestern most corner whereas Alex and Sonia, and Eric and Chris were all down in the Willamette Valley; Cat and Greg were on the other side of the mountains down in Bend while Jasmine and Louie were up near Crater Lake. We were all safe when the bombs went off. And yet neither of us had any idea where they had come from before then. We all had our theories, and I knew Alex and Greg sure had their own so to speak of.

We were all aware of radiation leaks and yet we were rather far from the closest cloud. Because of that, Oregon escaped the bottleneck and instead of forcing everyone to have children until the cows came home like down in the Golden State, all manner of chaos in the Northwest ensued, and I knew no one in the higher wings knew about any of the loopholes given the rural nature of Oregon itself. Oh, they tried to close the loopholes. They tried: they forced everyone to get into relationships even if it killed us because apparently free will had no place anymore following the nukes. We didn't escape the clouds entirely: no one up here following the disaster could have children on their own. Some were okay with that, some weren't, and it was a nightmare for anyone wanting to move out here from back East.

But even then, somehow she and I escaped that, and I would continue to escape it solo, even if it killed me. There was no way I could betray her and the vow I made for her like that.

I lay down the rose upon the lid of her casket. Eric turned to me and he threw his arms around me. All my tears had been whisked away at the feel of his body up against me. We were platonic, so if anyone gave us any looks, I had hope that I could simply wave it off from the onlookers.

He was my best friend and the best man at our wedding: no way it went any further than this.

But at the same time, I needed a bit of comfort. I needed something. I needed all the hugs in the world after this.

He lay down the rose atop her casket and sighed through his nose. Chris sidled up next to him and set a hand on his shoulder.

She was definitely a lovely young lady, with her long dark wavy hair down to her waist, and that milky skin to go with her round figure. I knew Eric had a thing for her when he signed on to be her husband, but I had an odd feeling about her, especially when Alex stood extra close to her, even with Sonia right next to him.

Those sunglasses covered his eyes, as if he knew the sun was about to come out that morning.

I stood off to the side to let them set the roses atop Tiff's casket and I swore I spotted Alex take a glimpse down to Chris' bare chest. It was one of many things that made me wonder what was going on between them, and if anyone knew what was going on between them.

Sonia was gorgeous herself: this statuesque blonde lady who looked like a fashion model with those freaking huge boobs and long as hell legs. Alex, being the complete scalawag that he was, said he took her for her brains but we all knew it was for those freaking huge boobs and long as hell legs, especially whenever she fixed the little plume of gray on his head he always had the opportunity to look down her shirt. But I often caught fleeting glimpses from him over to Chris because she was a lot heavier and rounder, and therefore more voluptuous. The sensual, cheeky bastard. That naughty boy.

I shook my head a bit. No way I could think about him like that.

Eric was even worse with Sonia as far as I was concerned: even as he held hands with Chris, he always had his eye on Sonia's ass or her legs.

I mean, I didn't even know what the hell the people in the wings were thinking when they said we all had to land spouses to keep it all up here in Oregon at bay. We were all dirty dogs as far as I was concerned, especially those two fellas.

And then there was Greg and Cat, and Louie and Jasmine.

But then again, I wasn't even going to touch that.

The four of them set their roses down on her casket and that was that. I looked up to the sky, now clear of the clouds that kept us safe from the radiation leaks.

Alex did, too: the gray sunlight on the dark lenses of his sunglasses and on that shapely smooth neck. Sonia put her arm around him and he returned the favor for her.

Come to think, I never saw him kiss her. I saw Eric kiss Chris, and Greg kiss Cat, but I never saw Alex do that with Sonia, even with their wedding coming up here. I never saw Louie kiss Jasmine, either.

Behind us, the pallbearers lowered Tiff's casket into the earth. Six feet under. Coffin sealed and covered.

The sun dipped behind the clouds and that told me that even with her gone, life moved on after the fact. I would return down to Astoria all alone with the wind at my back and the worst of the radiation distant from us all.

I would escape the crossing of the relationship fabric even if it killed me. I would find out how Tiff died, even it meant I died as well.