A life with and without choice.

Alone Part 2

Jo woke in a bed tucked in with sheets so tight that they could hardly move. No actually they could only move their head. Their arms were next to their body and with the little energy they had they couldn't get them free.

Tired and thirsty, but stuck tight and alone. They did all they could and fell asleep again. 

When they next awoke it was getting darker outside and only now did they realise they were in a room on their own. The hustle and bustle of hospital life had passed them by. Only vaguely aware of the regular visits, temperature checks and inspections by the nurses.

This time the nurse was more persistent and had a tray of food she had selected for Jo. The soup was placed on the table over the bed and the nurse kept repeating come along now you have to eat.

Try as they might they couldn't free themselves to sit up. The nurse eventually sensed that Jo wasn't perhaps being difficult.

'Let's see, they didn't want you moving far did they?' She said with a smile. She then released Jo, but they couldn't sit up.

'What now?' She asked, while Jo moved their arms to try and push up. However, the effort of moving exhausted them and they slumped back down, no strength in their arms to lift their aching body.

'Come now, you have to sit up to eat.' She then put her hands under their arms and lifted them up. Adjusting the bed head and pillows so Jo could sit up. The table was then rolled up to them and the soup placed in front of them

'Are you going to get stuck in? You can't expect me to feed you now.' she was gone.

Jo tried to lift themselves further up but it was no use. Lifting an arm, let alone a spoon was impossible. They just wanted to sleep and felt so useless. Just as they despaired their Mum walked in. A massive smile came across her face. 

'Oh my darling your awake, and you have some soup. That will give you some energy.' She then offered to help with a kind glance and picking up the spoon at the same time.

Tomato soup was Jo's favourite and it just slid down with no effort. It was still warm and Jo could feel it warming them as they gradually ate the soup. Mum offered some bread, Jo took a tiny nibble after mum had dipped it, but after a tiny bite Jo realised it was too much. They shook their head at the next offer of bread. When the soup was half finished Jo fell back against their pillows and was asleep almost as soon as their head touched the pillow.

The next time they woke was for yet another nurse checking up on them. Mum had gone again. The nurse told Jo that she would be back in the morning and had to go home to pack some things for Jo as they hadn't planned to admit them. Jo sighed. Another 'routine' check-up and here they were in a bed staying for yet another stay in hospital. Well that is actually what Jo's parents had said, Jo was too exhausted to articulate anything. At least this nurse offered them a sip of water.

Sleep consumed Jo, and time passed. Medicine was given, temperature taken and other basic tests. More sleep. Jo wasn't really there, they were away dreaming, but even the dreams were muted and lacked the energy and zest for life that normally consumed their dreams.

When the consultant visited Jo recognised the man who had looked after them all their life. It was no exaggeration that he had saved their life as a baby. That was the story that their parents told them every time they visited the hospital. So Jo gave him a faint smile and a little finger wiggle wave as that was the best she could do.

He grabbed the charts from the end of the bed. Then there was a hustle and bustle from the corridor as mum arrived with bags. 

'Oh, I'm sorry the trains were terrible Mr Williams, I hope I haven't missed everything.?' She asked

'No, my dear. I have just arrived and am checking the charts and then I can tell you my thoughts.' Mr Williams replied.

'Good, good.' She leant over the bed giving Jo a kiss on each cheek and forehead. 'My darling, I hope you feel a little better? I have your pyjamas and other things. Oh and your colours and a book for when you feel a little better. Oh just in case you are in for a little longer.' She continued in a flood of words. 'You don't want to be stuck in those uncomfortable hospital gowns for any longer than you have to be.' Her nerves and worry thinly veiled in a bright and cheerful chit chat voice, that calmed Jo and made their mind fog and eyes flicker shut. 'Now, let me sit down here, I'll help you change when Mr Williams has finished.' She was a wall of talk. 'Now let me sit down, my feet are killing me and my hands from carrying all this, try to stay awake dear so Mr Williams and ask you questions.' She finished as the sound of bags hitting the floor and the chair squeaking as only vinyl hospital chairs can.

Silence. Mr Williams then coughed and started.

'Well there is another infection. As there have been so many recently and they seem to be getting worse each time. I want to run some tests and try a couple of new tests that I hope will shed some light on things.' He paused allowing for questions.

'Oh, new tests. What do you plan?' Mum asked.

'Well, an ultrasound to see if the swelling is increasing. Also there is an NM renogram that is a new technique we have been developing with the university and this may be the perfect case to test this new development on. You would have to agree as it is a little different?' Mr Williams was looking seriously at Jo, who was asleep again.

'Oh, well we can talk about that. If you think it will help then of course we will agree.' Mum replied.

The forms were signed and the nurses informed so the tests could be arranged. Jo was oblivious and alone in their dreams.