DROUGHT

CHAPTER 3: THE START OF THE NIGHTMARE

I opened the door and got surprised when I saw Knight with his other girl in our bed. They were kissing each other, and they didn't notice me watching them. I wanted to scream, but I stopped because Lucy was sleeping next door. I wanted to hurt him, but I didn't. I just sighed, and he looked at me. He was surprised to see me watching them silently. My tears rolled down my cheek while looking into his eyes. I immediately closed the door when he caught me watching them. He hurriedly went to me when I went inside Lucy's room.

"Don't touch me", I said.

"I am sorry" Is the only word that he said. I was crying, and my heart was broken. I saw his other woman run outside the room. I wanted to follow her, but again, I stopped myself. I became suddenly weak at what I saw. I feel like I am a statue. I don't want to move, and I don't want to talk while my tears continue falling. I couldn't breathe, and I wanted to die.

"I am sorry," He said again, and he tried to hug me, but I avoided him. His sorry would not ease the pain that I am feeling right now. He didn't know how painful it was. He didn't know how I wanted to die right now.

"Don't touch me", I cried. He tried to hug me again, but I didn't let him. I feel so disgusted with him and, simultaneously, pity for myself. In an instant, I feel insecure as a woman and a human.

I don't want him to come near me even if he wants to. He says sorry even though I don't want to hear it. I want to be silent because my mind suddenly feels occupied when he crushes my heart. He is a cheater and a pig, and now he wants to hug me. How could he want to hug me after kissing another woman inside our house? I have just gone to the grocery for our dinner to cook him food that he wanted, and he will cheat on me with our daughter sleeping next door. He is an animal! A pig! a heartless demon.

"It is not what you are thinking", A sentence that made me look at him without a word. I asked him through my stare. What do you think it is? Because I didn't dare to talk and ask him why he did that because what I saw was enough. I don't want to hear his reasons and excuses.

"I didn't mean to do it," He said, and I looked at him again without a word. How could he not mean it? He invited the bitch. Or maybe he did not mean to be caught? I saw his bitch run half-naked outside our house. I looked at her with a question how long is he fooling me? Why does he have the courage to invite that bitch to our house?

"Don't touch me", I said, but he didn't listen.

"Don't touch me", I said again.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" And then I scream in pain even though I know it is not enough. It will not subtract from the pain I feel no matter how loud I scream.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" And I said it repeatedly until I woke seeing Lucy looking at me, and she was crying.

"Mom, are you okay?" Lucy asked me while looking at me; her cute face was right before me, making me smile.

"You keep saying don't touch me when I tried to hold your hand. I guess you had a bad dream," She said, holding my hand while still looking at me. I smiled at her and kissed her.

"Yes, baby, Mama is okay," I said almost in a whisper, then hugged her. I looked at Ellie, and I didn't wake her up. Thanks to my daughters, who keep me strong even though I am already crushed inside because of their father.

"I want winky-winky, mom, "Lucy said, and I carried her and put her on my lap.

She leaned on me and hugged me, and then closed her eyes. Winky-winky is her term for carrying inside the car if she wants to sleep. I don't know where she got that word, but it is cute for me. Knight moved close to me, holding Lucy's hand and looking at me. I pretended that I didn't see him looking at me. I don't want to build a bridge again with him. I don't want to get hurt again because the pain he caused from the day I caught him is still fresh. I don't know if I can still forgive him because I don't trust him anymore, not just him but the people around me also. When I caught him cheating, I became scared to be friends with people. They are untrustworthy, or I have trust issues because of Knight. I don't know, but I know that anytime soon. I will explode, have the courage to leave him, and bring the girls with me.