Random Thoughts

rage

I couldn't stop it.....
My brother, the one who had broken me free of a 50 year sleep, a brother i once was so close to as a Hoglet.
I couldn't stop the overwhelming Rage i held towards the goverment of GUN. I never chose to join them.
They had split the three of us up after all, i was flung to the past, The youngest of us was flung into a horrific future.... but he never escaped it, and died there. Sonic took on Silver's abilities and role in the trio as well as his own.
But sonic had always been there for me, by my side. He felt the need... to protect me. The weakest of us 3.... yet he felt the need to protect me?
It was pathetic, and horrifying to me as the oldest brother.
Huffffff, i guess you want to know what happened next.
The figure is shown in pale light, a embony hedgehog, covered in scars and terrible wounds. But you cannot do anything to help. This is his burden to bear, you are simply here to lighten the load.
One day, Sonic and i were racing through the wonderful sights of Green Hill. He always went slower here, to let me take in the peaceful sights...the sights Silver should've seen. Today he was in an odd rush, and my rage had only been building through the days. We finally stopped, me being the winner, and Sonic wasn't being his normal calm self.
Not winning as usual was bothering him, and i could hear his thoughts aching him. It grated at the minimal sanity i had left.
"I'm sorry" i said, the words tumbling from my mouth," i let the spirit of competition get ahead of me"
Sonic looked over, but his heart wasn't in his smile.
"Yeah i get it Shads. I just feel worried for you, you think i don't feel the crazy amount of rage you've had since Silver's death?"
"I'm fine" i prantically snarled, the pure rage was beginning to boil to the top.
"Uhuh, that's a load of dung and you know it."
I grip my head.it was begining to flood my senses, the fox kit Sonic had adopted runs over, and i numbly feel my hand grip my handgun. I just couldn't take it, Sonic was so happy... even with Silver's death. Why couldn't i be?
Why couldn't i be happy over the fact that he was?
Was he just going to die, like Silver, like Maria?
I manage to get myself to release my grip on the gun. I go back to my normal position.
What was wrong with me? Was i just about to shoot someone?
Leave me alone sonic. Believe me about it for once.
After i sent him that thought, i burst away, flowing naturally through my movements. I force myself to keep going, shutting my brother out of my connection to him.
It hurt to shut him out. But if i relented then i might just give in to the rage. It was coupling together, drawing on my sorrows to fuel the pyre burning inside me, threatening to rip me apart from the inside like a Black Arms would. I stop thousands of miles from home, hoping to catch a moment with my own thoughts.

My breathing hitched as my thoughts lingered in the numb spot in my mind, where Silver's power once rested comfortably as a part of me. Tidal waves of pain and agony begged for release and i finally let the damm fall, tears falling in a rush as i let my legs give. Raw sobs rack my chest, painful coughs ring out as i struggle to breathe. It feels like i sat there for hours before i finally stop crying, exhausted from the pain i lay on the ground.
Sighing, i stand as i feel Sonic's gentle thoughts.
I get that your hurting shads. So am i. Why don't you head on back and we can go talk over some of amy's baked goods at her cafè?
I smile, a true genuine smile,yes, i'd like that Sonic. If you make it there before me, order me a cheesecake slice.
No prob Shads.
The mental connection cut off as i look up to see a small mobian village, established on one of Eggman's destroyed base, the Mobians of the village having reused the base to rebuild thier home. Silver would've loved to see Mobiús. He never got that chance.
A spark of rage still sat simmering. He would have to take care to not fan the flames and not have Sonic there to snap him out of it.
With that thought, he stiffly blazed away, carving a line with his shoes.
He arrived in an hour of skating along and sitting down at Amy's Cafè.
The waiter had just arrived with a cheesecake and some non-sugared, milk jasmine tea for sonic. You wouldn't think Sonic the type to drink it. I think it's a habit he gained from Silver since his demise. Minus the sugar cause Amy insisted every time. She knew firsthand what happens when sonic has more then a few grams of the stuff. Two words. Caffinated Chaos.
The evening dessert was lovely. The talk was something i would treasure during my time here. If only it didn't all unravel once we left the lovely cafè.
As we left, Tails popped up once more, barreling into me and pinning me to the ground.
"Tails, are you out of your mind?!" I yell, my fury already building once more.
"No, i just finally saw how much a danger you are, Shadow the Hedgehog." My veins fill with raw and painful fire. Sonic pulls Tails off of me and i stand. My vision has gone red as i reach into my quills. The safety clicks in my hand, a familiar, exciting feeling. A part of my whole being willing to let out the rage like this. I aim, and fire. The bang resonated in my ears, but i realized the consequences too late. My brother shoved the young fox to the ground, blocking him from the killing shot that directly hit my brother's heart. He gasps as he's hit, and collapses to the ground.
Shock filling my system, i drop the gun and i dash to my brother.
All of the rage in my system gone as i clasp my triplet's wound.
"TAILS, CALL AN AMBULANCE!" I scream out, Tails already way ahead as he pulls up his watch.
Shads- i'm so sorry for getting in the way.

No, it's my fault for letting my rage go. Please don't go, stay with me!

Heh-*cough cough* your aim is better then you thought. I think you hit my heart-*sonic coughs again, his breathing begining to rattle slightly as he grips his brother's hand.
Sonic you better stay with me you stupid hedgehog!

Sorry bro, you did too well, i'm trying, but even Silv's power-*cough cough cough*- is just not enough to heal me.
"Then take my power then you f*beep*ing idiot! Just live!"
I'm trying brother, i'm loosing strength-
"Then let me give it to you. CHAOS HEAL!" I pour my own energy into Sonic's chest, doing everything i can to keep him here, with me, with Tails, with those who love him!
For a moment, it feels like it's working, i can feel the wound trying to close, only for sonic to scream as i feel the bullet still inside his heart. The Chaos Energy! It's electrifying him through the bullet!
I'm forced to stop as tears fill my face.
"Sonic, hold on please!"
I..... can't..... hold on........ too.... weak....
Sonic's breath rattles weakly one final time. Before he goes still and i feel a rush of power, but an overwhelming numbness as well. All i could do, was leave the young fox brother to mourn..... i ran away because i was ashamed, shocked, and terrified for what this meant. My brothers, were dead. One at my own hands. He lies here in the same prison i do. Sitting in an iced coffin to be remembered by the fox kit who loved him as much as i did.
Thank you for hearing my story reader.... it hurt so much to finally let this out, but now that i have, my shoulders feel about 50 pounds lighter.

(Whew- some really fun angst huh? I really should TW some of these chapters- my mind scares me guys. IndigoSilver08, you know what this AU turned out to be. Figured i'd finally finish writing it. Stay Balanced- SIRABOOKS