Stars Collide

Chapter 14

I decided to go home on Thursday- I needed a break from school and I wanted to see Aurélia. Too bad I had forgotten that she had already left for school in France.

When I told Papa I was coming, he decided to bring Julien over too. Great, just what I needed. Family time with someone I barely knew.

After only a few minutes at home, Papa must've sensed the awkward atmosphere because he decided to take us out to ice cream. On the way there, I saw Leah with Ben. I didn't wave or try to get her attention.

I didn't quite know if I wanted to be friends with Leah. I mean, I had told her about my secret but she didn't seem like a good best friend for me. She didn't understand my situation. I didn't understand hers. I needed to find someone who was in the same boat as me.

"Chiara," Papa said as we slowed to a halt in front of the nearest ice cream shop. "Here's some money. Can you buy Julien ice cream? I have something to do."

And that, my friends, was attempt number twenty seven at trying to get me and Julien closer. I felt no bond with him. Was he even related to me?

At that moment, I felt like I had no one I could lean on or pour my heart out to. I realized that maybe Leah wasn't the best friend for me. I would always be friends with her but I needed a best friend.

"May I have chocolate ice cream?" Julien asked. I nodded and gave some money to the cashier as she scooped some ice cream into a cone.

"I didn't pay for a cone," I told her. She just gave me a smile.

"What would you like?"Julien asked.

"I'm fine, thank you," I told him as he took his ice cream. "Come on, let's go."

We walked home and I told Papa I was going back to school. Julien decided to stay back for a while. I was crossing the street when I bumped into someone.

"Desolé," I said out of habit before looking up.

"It's okay," she replied. She stuck her hand out when we had both successfully crossed the street. "I'm Zoë."

"I'm Chiara," I told her, shaking it. "Do you go to the American Schools?"

Zoë nodded. "I started last year. I'm a sophomore this year. I live only a few kilometers away."

"I live a few blocks away," I told her as we entered campus. "But I just started this year. I'm also a sophomore."

"That's amazing!" she exclaimed. "You have no idea how long I've been looking for someone who understands my situation!"

"Me too," I told her. "I have a friend right now, but she is American."

"Oh," Zoë said. "Well, what classes do you have? Maybe we have some together."

"My schedule's in my dorm," I told her. "Why don't you come with me to get it?"

She smiled and nodded excitedly as we made our way to my room. Before going in, I knocked on Leah's door. She wasn't home. I continued on to my door and opened it. Zoë cautiously entered. I walked over to my nightstand and pulled my schedule out. She pulled one out of her pocket. "I always keep it with me," she explained.

We both laid out our schedules on the nightstand and examined them. Zoë was in my math and science classes but not in any of my developmental English classes. She must've been good at English last year.

"Wow," Zoë said. "Why haven't I seen you before? Do you sit towards the front or the back?"

"Kind of in the middle, to the side," I replied.

"Oh. I sit in the front."

"I wouldn't want to draw too much attention to myself," I told her.

"I love attention," she replied. "It makes you feel special." When I didn't say anything for a few moments, she said, "So, Chiara, tell me about yourself."

I shrugged. "Born and raised in Luxembourg. Came here this year. Don't know too much English. What about you?"

Zoë took a deep breath before starting. "I was born and raised in Belgium. When I was twelve, my family moved to Luxembourg and they decided to send me to the American Schools last year because they were all moving back to Belgium but I was getting a better education over here. My aunt and uncle live here, so I occasionally visit them. Last year, I had a large group of American friends who were really nice. I began to feel very comfortable with them towards the end of the year so I told them that I was gay. They ran away before I could say "crepe"." She turned to face me. "I hope you won't run away because I'm gay."

I shook my head, still in shock. Zoë was gay. I was gay. That just made the whole situation a whole lot more awkward. Only Zoë didn't feel awkward because she didn't know I was gay.

She smiled before opening her mouth to speak again. "Anyway, I was friendless and I realized that as nice as American friends are, they will never understand us."

I found myself nodding in agreement.

"So," Zoë continued. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I nearly choked on the air around us. "No," I finally said. "What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?

Zoë shook her head. "Not too many gay European girls over here," she joked.

Oh, you have no idea.

I forced a smile. Zoë took that as encouragement and went on. "I sometimes see girls when I go out and think about how they perfectly match my dating criteria. If only they were gay."

Yes! my mind screamed. I understand!

"I once did have a girlfriend, though," she told me. "She was the most amazing person you will ever meet. We stopped going out when I moved to the American Schools. I haven't seen her since."

"I'm sorry," I said. In my mind, I continued, Maybe I could make up for your loss.

And that was the story of my first girl crush.