Bye Anna

Bye Anna- Chapter 2

I'm so so so sorry for not uploading earlier, i have no excuses, i was just worried that no one would read my story, sad i know, but then i logged on and saw that some people had commented and that people had been reading it and that's given me the motivation i need to continue with this story, i pormise i will never leave you waiting this long for another chapter, ever, ever, ever! thank you all so much for the support, keep commenting i apreaciate every single one, neggative or positive, anyway i hope you enjoy this chapter, remeber please comment! :)

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I was admitted to Luton Manor Psychiatrist Health Unit a year ago, my parents thought that by sending me here it would finally put an end to all my “pain” and “suffering”, they were wrong. My motives of wanting to be the thinnest grew, my inner thoughts and feelings became more obscure and deluded as each waking day went past, everyone in this place was my enemy, each with the same goal, to make me eat. They were very clever at Luton Manor Psychiatrist Unit (LMPHU) oh yes, they knew never to let us Anna’s mix, after all it’s hard enough making one eat, but a group of us? No chance.  You see we were all a team, no matter if we knew each other or not, we all had the same goal and so with that in mind we would help each other in any which way we could, there was one time where I found two other Anna’s in the same unit as me, Cherry and Maddie, both were thin, but I beat them by far, anyway, it was a weigh in and so I stole small weights from the caretakers cupboard and sewed them neatly into some hair scrunchies to make us our addressed weight goal and it was a success until Maddie decided to become a traitor and actually wanted to get “better” so she dogged us in, Cherry was moved the next day to a different unit.

Every day here at LMPHU is the same tedious routine, you wake up to a nurse hovering into your personal bubble with your mammoth sized breakfast luring over you, then she watches you like a hawk consume every inch of it, even if it takes you until lunch, then your asked how your feeling whilst they tick little boxes on a white sheet of paper the nurse holds on her clipboard, you know, just in case you decide to go and top yourself, then depending whether you are well enough to, you have tuition lessons, I’m meant to be taking me GCSE’s this year, I don’t think this will happen as at the moment I’m pretty sure my IQ is that of a five year old, after this it’s snack time where you once again get supervised eating  followed by free time, and if you have earned it then you get to go into the garden and do whatever you like, as long as it does not include vigorous amounts of exercise otherwise you will be escorted in by the people on duty. After this its lunch where you must sit with all the other children on the ward and be forced to indulge a large main, usually including some form of fried object and a large pudding. If you do not eat what you are given then this results in punishment and you lose your weekly phone call home and your visiting hours are cut short, as for us Anna’s, if our behaviour continues and we refuse to eat, we get force fed through a tube. After lunch all the children on the ward have to engage in strenuous activities with each other, usually some form of arts and crafts which leads us onto dinner then phone calls home and then bed by 9pm.  Every day is the same routine, and you get used to it like clockwork however Fridays are weekly assessment’s by our councillors where you have an hourly session, basically to see if you need to be transferred to a higher unit, discharged or be given more medication, they also attempt to unravel your life and find out what happened in your life to make you become so unsuitable for society that your forced into a hospital where your every beck and call is monitored. The councillors enjoy trying to “fix” you, they see it as a type of jigsaw and once they’ve cracked it then there work is done and they get moved higher up on the ladder, to them it’s just a business, nothing more, nothing less.

Being an Anna gives me a constant battle in this place, your being watched constantly like an insect under a telescope with no way to get out, however being the best Anna in the business, I’ve learnt all the tricks there are to ensure that I stay thin and yet appear to the human eye to be making progress. For example at breakfast, even though the nurses may not be able to talk to us, I can interact with them, so I normally show them a dance or a piece of drama and whilst performing I pick up my breakfast and appear to be eating it but i actually this is part of my act for you see as I spin to the  other side of the room, I neatly pop my food into the vase that’s resting neatly on the mantel and then once the nurses have gone, I dispose of my waste outside my window. You may be thinking that this surely can’t work? But at the end of the day the nurse does not care about you or what your problem is, to them your just a job that gets them money, they don’t care that at any moment your heart could stop working or that your bones may become so frail and week that your body could crumble into a million tiny pieces. All they see you as is a stupid and yet somewhat vulnerable child who is so mentally messed up that they’ve managed to spiral their lives into s series of unfortunate events.

Being one of the longest child patients at this ward meant that I had seen and heard my fair share of loons, I was used to being woken up at all hours of the morning by someone attacking a nurse, I was used to seeing children as young as 8 with blood pouring out of different parts of their body which is why when I was woken on that night I was surprised with the events that would soon set down the foundation for the path that I was set to follow.

It was around midnight when I was awoken by a loud shrieking sound; it was as though someone had pulled out every vital organ of your body out with their bare hands, as though someone was fighting for their last breath before falling into a black hole that society called death. It was a sound that I had never heard before and shocked me to the core, I felt my whole body tense up and I could feel short sharp bits of my breath being forced out of my lungs. Normally if it was any other situation I would have ignored it and tried to have gone back to sleep but this sound was different, it was as though someone needed me to help them through their pain, so I scurried to the floor from my bed and staggered along the narrow yet long corridor to the main reception where I was faced with a swarm of doctors and nurses trying to strap something down to the ground, however I was not sure what it was as I couldn’t get a proper glance, whatever it was it was still screaming muffled words that I could not quite work out crouched over the swarm of doctors were two people, a man and a women that I could only assume was its parents, the women was having a break down and the husband seemed to have trouble trying to support her as the tears streamed out of both their eyes. I shifted my body further afield so I could get a better look, and that’s when I saw him. The thing lying on the floor was a boy about my age who was lying stark naked shivering on the ground, the blood meant that I could not get a good glance at what he looked like but I did see that he was in a pool of his own blood, his whole body from head to toe was soaked in the red liquid with huge gashes all over his body. In pure shock my body did the only thing it could, run, I ran down the corridor and locked myself into my room. I had no idea who that boy was or what he had done to get here, but what I did know was that over the next couple of months it was going to be very different at Luton Manor Psychiatrist Health Unit.