Street Corner Café

How to appear normal at social events

So its been a week sense making a complete and utter fool out myself in front of Tyler. Lets get caught up shell we.

After that interaction with him, I walked slowly back to my table by the window. I sat down and fought the inner urge to crawl underneath my coffee table. I had grabbed a book in a rush to get away from him, that I hadn't even bothered to look at what I was grabbing. Turns out that I am a new fan of " How to appear normal at social events", what a great book to pick out, after my humiliating scene.

I thought to myself that I should give this book I try, now that I had picked it out. There ways no way in hell that I ways going to risk another event occurring. To my utter astonishment the book was tilting more to interesting than utter boredom. All that was missing was my hot cup of tea. I spoke to soon.

"Um...I think being normal is overrated." Tyler whispered to me from over my shoulder.

To say that I didn't nearly pee myself from the sudden intrusion would be a complete lie because I totally did. JUST A LITTLE. I turned my head to the left of me, inches away from his lips and right cheek and whispered back to him.

" Clearly since you don't know the idea of personal space and announcing yourself," my breath was an unexpected greeting to his skin as I saw the small hairs on his neck rising with the warmth of my breath - I'm glad I had a mint a minute ago or this would be a very unpleasant experience for both us.

" I came to bring you your tea that you ordered. Kate had to step out for a minute. Something about her cat having this really uncontrollable drooling issue"

I was in the middle of taking a sip of my hot tea when Tyler had gotten to the drooling cat part.

"-ough!" I tried to catch my breath after swallowing my tea down the wrong pipe before saying,

" OH! Right, yeah. That stupid cat of hers, well I hope you tell her that I say that "her" cat was probably not drooling but more admiring."

Tyler gave me a confused but amused look and before you could say anything my rambling went on.

"ADMIRING as in like, you know... admiring the way that the cats saliva comes out of its mouth. YEAH! That."

As soon as I finished my sentence I imagined myself in an alternate Universe, where I pull this really disturbed frowning face, more at myself than at Tyler. Then I proceed to smack my head into my book numerous times.

"Right... Ha, well if that is all you need, then I'm going to get back to my other tables but shout if you need anything else."

As soon as his back was turned, its like I had no control over my mouth or my body because I spat out these next few embarrassing words.

"I need you to magic mike me!"

He turned around on his heels really slowly and replied with a, "Sorry, what?"

Thank Heavens he did not hear, " Oh I asked for a chocolate muffin please"

"Uh, right"