The Alpha's Luna

Chapter 3

Angel's Perspective

I heard my Monday morning alarm go off, but I had already been awake for hours. Knowing that I have a mate was just... something I could stop thinking about. And Clayton Thompson of all people? Someone so irresistible in every way possible.

Why did that bother me so much? I had already decided that I didn't want to be with him. I couldn't have a mate, I couldn't be in a relationship. Relationships never last. Relationships always end in pain and agony. Everything about my life has proven that time and time again. No one can grow close to me, no one could ever love me if they knew who I really was. The feeling of love couldn't possibly be worth the pain that would follow the inevitable end to the story. There was absolutely no way that I could do this. I can't pursue him and I can't let him pursue me. The connection was just way too strong and something clicked that night, but I didn't feel good about it.

I had barely slept at all since we returned that morning. My wolf was going crazy and it was like a battle within me.

'But seriously, come on! He's your mate. And he is the most powerful alpha in the country! And he's your age! And he's super hot! And he will love you right! That should be reason enough for you to be with him!' My wolf kept screaming at me over and over. I kept trying to remind her that we've been hurt every single time that someone has loved us. I kept trying to make it clear that a boyfriend was the last thing that we needed right now. What we needed was to establish ourselves here and find a way to survive.... we did not need a boyfriend.

'He's not your boyfriend! He's your mate! He needs you like gravity and your just going to reject him?'

'Look!' I said mentally to my wolf. 'It's my decision. Just leave me alone and quit trying to make me feel bad about it,' I argued, annoyed. But, as soon as I said it, I knew that I shouldn't have. I know that my wolf needs her mate and I can't just decide to deprive her of him. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that,' I said to my wolf. But, she had already cut off our mind connection and I felt like she wasn't there. 'Stella?' I called her by her real wolf pack name, something I rarely did because it was an old tradition. Anymore, everyone calls each other by their human names and now days only the human and their wolf know their pack name. 'Stella?' I called again. No reply. It was clear that she was really depressed. I decided that I should probably go for a run to make her feel better. So I ran outside and jumped into the air ready to transform, but I fell to the ground, still in human form. She wouldn't shift, which I didn't even know was possible. Maybe this is what happens when a human rejects their mate despite their wolf's desires. I started to worry about the possibility of living in the werewolf world without the ability to shift 'Stella? I'm not rejecting him, I'm just not ready for this yet,' I told her. I could feel her presence come back to me, but our mind connection was still cut off. Fine, if she wants to play that way, game on.

As I got ready for school I did everything I could to keep my mind off of my wolf. I had the music blaring and I was texting all of my friends. It was more fun talking to men without my wolf anyways. She was like a constant third party in my mind reminding me that I wasn't human, depriving me of human connection, and making me feel like I had to choose between who I was and who I wanted to be.

My sister was at Jason's for the third month in a row so I had the whole house to myself, like always. I was alone and had no one to answer to or explain myself to. The loneliness had become commonplace in my life. So I had no problem doing my daily routine in a house by myself. I applied my makeup, brushed my hair, and picked out an outfit that made me feel good about myself. I slipped my phone in my back pocket and slung my new book bag over my shoulder. I could go to school without her, she didn't determine the outcome of my day.

When I stepped outside I could feel the warm spring breeze blowing through my hair. It felt good to know that I only had a week left of school. I climbed into my red convertible and drove to my favorite coffee shop. After ordering my usual cappuccino, I headed to the university despite every desire within me to turn the car around and spend the day alone in my house. There was just something about loneliness that while being so painful and difficult it was also so easy to fall into and never want to leave.

Class was not my favorite place to go, but my best friend Kaylee was also majoring in political science so we had most of our classes together. She was such a perfect friend for me. She understood that I came from a dark past that I didn't like to discuss and she was okay with that. She didn't pressure me to open up or require a set amount of time dedicated to her to maintain our relationship. She was a lot like me in the fact that she wasn't too interested in people complicating things in her life. With her it was easy because we could just hang out when we wanted to and laugh and have a good time together. I walked to the tables where we usually met to walk to class together, but standing in her place was a tall, dark haired, dark eyed masterpiece of a man, my mate.

I felt my wolf rush back into my mind. My heart started pumping and I could feel the blood flowing through my veins as if I suddenly had to work to breathe. My hands started to shake, not in fear of him but in fear of the way he made me feel. It was different with him, I didn't have full control and now he was surprising me in ways I didn't see coming. I'm not good with unpredictable, that's why I always went for the guys that were easy to read. But I couldn't read him when I couldn't even grasp how I was feeling. Everything about him left me feeling ways that I didn't understand and I was experiencing emotions that I couldn't contain. I was in pure shock but my face did not reflect that. As horrified that I was that he was here, my heart and mind couldn't have been more delighted to see him. But still, I was scared of the way he made me feel.

"Clayton, what are you doing at my school?" I asked with a nervous laugh.