Can You Teach Me?

Can You Teach Me How to Shield Surf?

Their relationship was fine, it really was. In fact, it was better than fine. It was great! The reason Link was panicking wasn't because their relationship was suffering, but because he had read a copy of Traysi's new magazine for teens. It had an article about relationships failing, and he had been enough of an idiot to read it. One of the reasons relationships fail, the article said, was because they just... stopped trying once they lived together. They got too comfy, too secure and safe, and the butterflies went away. Link was determined not to let that happen.

The other reasons included erectile dysfunction, having kids, someone getting fat, someone getting thin, someone wearing leggings as pajamas, disagreement of pizza toppings, and not buying more of Traysi's magazines. It was clearly not written by a relationship professional.

With these reasons in mind, Link decided to plan some dates. Every week, he and Zelda would do something cute and fun together. He made a list of date options:
-Going to a chocolate strawberry factory with free samples
-Getting tea at a cat cafe
-Making pottery and NOT breaking them after
-Painting pottery
-Getting massages in Gerudo town
-Playing a prank on Purah
-Sleepover
-Shield surfing and picnic
-Bungee jumping

He went through the list and considered each idea. The first one wouldn't work. There were no chocolate strawberry factories. Strawberries had gone extinct long ago. Maybe wildberries would work? The second one was a bust, too. Link was pretty sure cats were fictional beings. He also didn't think he would be able to contain himself and not break the pottery, so those next two were out. The massage one was good, though. He put it on a second list, which contained everything from the first list that might actually go well.

Playing a prank on Purah was a dangerous game, and not a good one for a date. They slept together every night, so a sleepover wasn't very exciting for a date. And bungee jumping? Well, a bungee jumping date may be the worst idea he'd ever had.

But shield surfing and a picnic... that one was perfect! It was all the things the tabloid article said a date should be! Exciting, glamorous, involved cheese and wine (aka romance), and wouldn't mess up your hair. The hair one was iffy, but maybe they could use hairspray to keep it un-messed.

The only problem was that Link wasn't sure if Zelda could shield surf. When he thought about it, he didn't think he had ever seen her shield surf. He decided to do the least easy solution and try to get her to admit she couldn't without asking outright.

Then he realised this was a ridiculous plan, and changed his mind. He would simply ask her.

"My queen?" he called, sticking his head outside the open window. Zelda was by the pond, feeding the fish. They had gotten fish after realising a pond without any living things in it might bring unwelcome living things. They had introduced one Sanke carp, one mighty carp, three sneaky river snails, and one Hyrule bass. Link had wanted to add a staminoka bass from his pocket, but he was surprised to find they died while in there. He wasn't sure how the bugs and amphibians he caught lived while the fish died, but that was a problem for later. He hoped later wouldn't come, because he was dreading asking Symin. He may not be very understanding as to why Link kept 28 fish and 60 lizards of various types in his pockets.

Zelda looked up. "Yes?"

He cupped his hands in a makeshift megaphone despite being only a few feet away. "Can you shield surf?"

She shook her head, "I don't believe so."

"Damn it!" He took his head back inside. He crossed the idea off the list. The only thing left was to get massages. He poked his head out again. "I'll be back soon! I'm going to go to Gerudo town!"

"Via horse or fast travel? Because I'm preparing bread smush for dinner and if you travel with Epona you'll be gone for four days and I'll have to eat yours, too."