Harry Potter Male!Reader Insert

GILDEROY LOCKHART

I sat next to Ron who sat next to Harry and Hermione. I've red Lockhart's books. They were — how do I say this — Egotistical. He talks far too much about himself and other parts of his books don't even have any type of logical explanation. If people here had any common sense, they'd suspect that he's a fraud just as I do.

'You could’ve fried an egg on your face' said Ron. 'You’d better hope Creevey doesn’t meet Ginny, or they’ll be starting a Harry Potter fan club.'

'Shut up,' snapped Harry who turned a faint shade of pink.

'Perhaps I could do the honours.' I smirked. 'You know, they'd make good friends, Harry--'

'No!' Harry yelled, his eyes pleading. He went pink when he realised that people were staring at him.

When the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and silence fell. He reached forward, picked up Neville Longbottom’s copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front.

'Me,' he said, pointing at it and winking as well. 'Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award but I don’t talk about that. I didn’t get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!'

He waited for us to laugh; a few people smiled weakly. Whilst I frowned, what type of sorry excuse joke was that?

'I see you’ve all bought a complete set of my books — well done. I thought we’d start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about — just to check how well you’ve read them, how much you’ve taken in —'

When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said,

'You have thirty minutes — start —now!'

I looked down at my paper, just a glimpse of it made me scowl.

'...What the bloody hell?' I thought to myself. I, of course, knew the answers to all these but to give him more fuel for his ego would be hell. You'd think the man's in love with himself — he probably is.

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s favourite colour?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s secret ambition?
3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart’s greatest achievement to date?

On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart’s birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?

I held myself back from making any more trouble. After all, my grades were still important. Ah, but imagine his face. In the end, I successfully held back.

'Tut, tut — hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully — I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples — though I wouldn’t say no to a large bottle of Ogdeds Old Firewhisky!'

He gave us another roguish wink. I felt disgust rising within me. He just flirted in a room full of children. Ron was now staring at Lockhart with an expression of disbelief on his face; Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, who were sitting in front, were shaking with silent laughter. Hermione, on the other hand, was listening to Lockhart with rapt attention and gave a start when he mentioned her and my names.

'… but Miss Hermione Granger and Mr (Y/n) Luphus knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions — In fact'

— he flipped her paper over —

'full marks! Where are Miss Hermione Granger and (Y/n)?' 

Hermione raised a trembling hand. Whilst I raised my hand lazily. Seriously? Even he's got Hermione wrapped around his finger. She can't be that daft, can she?