Not His

12. Lilies and Coffee

It was a quiet drive from Haley's house to the nearest Starbucks, but it was also kinda peaceful. Even if she still wasn't exactly speaking to me, the two block distance with her felt too short by the time we arrived.

After we had ordered our coffees, we found a small table in the corner and sat down across from each other. We were both silent for a few seconds as we stared at our coffee.

"I'm not gonna lie to you Haley," I spoke softly as I glanced up at her from my drink. "What you heard about me being a player before you came to this school is true, but I'm not proud of it. And if I have any chance of winning your trust back and convincing you that that's not who I am anymore, then I wanna be completely honest with you."

She was idly rubbing her thumb against her to-go mug as she looked up at me. Our eyes made contact and I could tell she seemed cautious, as if ready to immediately detect a lie. Doing my best to not let that intimidate me, I continued.

"So that's why I'm gonna tell you everything about me from before, so there's no surprises left."

"Ok, you know what," she shifted a little uncomfortably as she grabbed her coffee and stood up. "I really don't want to hear about every one night stand you've had, so I'm just gonna go."

"Haley, wait," I tried to call her back as I followed her out the door. Passing through, I heard the door chime as it swung open then closed behind me. The cool evening air hit me as I reached for her arm. "Haley it's not like that," I spoke as seriously as I could. "You said you'd hear me out."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I can't do this Griffin," she snapped as she tried to pull her arm back. "I really don't need to hear about that part of your life."

I gave her arm one last tug. "Haley, I'm a virgin." I felt her resistance stop as soon as the words left my mouth. Letting go of her arm, I exhaled. She didn't move from where she stopped, still half turned away from me.

"How do I know you're not lying?" she spoke cautiously, still looking at the ground in what appeared to be deep thought.

I scrunched my eyebrows together, genuinely confused. "When have I ever lied to you?" She looked up at me, that same cautious look in her face. I was beginning to get aggravated at how difficult it was to convince her I didn't do anything. And for those wondering, proving someone you didn't do something is about as easy as trying to prove something doesn't exist. Silence seemed to be her answer as she didn't come up with any specific example. I let out a deep breath in frustration. "Damn it, Haley, think! What could I have possibly ever lied to you about?"

"I don't know!" she yelled back.

"Exactly, because I never did!"

"This isn't easy for me either, Griffin." Tears started forming in her eyes as the evening sky continued to dim. "Don't you think I want to trust you again? But I can't just do that if I don't know if you've really changed!" She took a few steps back and slumped against the outside wall of Starbucks. The streetlight lamp suddenly turned on -it must've been one of those automatic lights that goes on as it gets darker- as I noticed a tear roll down her cheek.