How Did I Get This Far?

3-5 Years Old

Most people dont remember being 3, but i remember that year every single day of my life, not because of happiness, but because of tradgedy, when i was 3,on November 30th i was ready for dance class, in my little tutu and my pink bodysuit and a huge smile on my face, my parents had to go to a buisness meeting so we were in a rush, it was snowing like crazy and we were in a whiteout, and everyone knows that in a whiteout, you cant stop driving, well clearly the driver ahead of us didnt know that, and he stopped, my dad swerved around the driver and ended up in a ditch after spinning uncontrolably 12 times, the airbags didnt come out, my moms head slammed against the window and blacked out, the next day, she was pronounced dead in the hospital, and the worst part is, while everyone was mourning, the psychiatrist told the family i wouldnt understand until i was five, and she was right, when i was five, my family was going out to dinner and my grandma and grandpa were waiting for us, my grandma asked my sister "Wheres your dad and Andie? Did your dad drop you and trevin off while he parked?" and my sister said "No, hes trying to calm her down, shes crying." and my grandpa asked "Why?" and my brother simply said "Shes 5, she realized mom isnt coming back." and i blame myself for my mothers death everyday, because if i didnt have dance class, they wouldnt have had to leave so early, and she wouldnt have died