Coney Island

Chapter 10

A/N: This chapter was probably the hardest to Write. I re-wrote it so many times, and I'm still not sure about it. But I'd love to hear your thoughts 💙
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‘I don’t want to go,’ Hugo yelled before we heard the bedroom door slam shut. 

I turned towards Taylor, but I didn’t get a chance to speak before she turned and walked away from me. ‘Oh, come on, Taylor, not you as well,’ I shouted after her as she disappeared into her home studio, also slamming the door.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I moved towards the staircase. ‘What a great day this has turned out to be,’ I muttered sarcastically as I descended the stairs. 

It was five days before Christmas, which was stressful by itself, and on top of that, I had managed to upset both my son and my girlfriend, who were now sulking in their favourite places.  

‘You look like you need this,’ Joe said, handing me a glass of wine after I plopped down next to him on the sofa. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ He added with a smile. 

I took the glass gratefully from his hand, taking a big gulp before I placed it on the coffee table. ‘I can kind of understand why Tay is upset, but I have no idea what’s gotten into Hugo. He’s never been one for yelling and slamming doors. He loves my parents, so I don’t get why he doesn’t want to spend Christmas with them.’ The words poured out of me like a tap. 

It was still weird to me how comfortable I now was with my girlfriend’s ex, when only a few weeks ago aside from Josh, he was probably the person I hated most in the world. However, I had quickly discovered that my hate towards him was unwarranted. He wasn’t at all like the version I had created of him in my own mind. He hadn’t been waiting in the shadows, ready to swoop in like a superhero and save Taylor from my evil clutches. He was a good man who had fallen in love with an incredible woman and helped put back together all the pieces of her heart that Josh had forced me to break. He had kept her safe and loved her when I couldn’t and really I should be thanking him for that. He had also been extremely kind and loving towards my son, which still amazed me every day.  

Joe spun his body, so he was facing me as he gave me his full attention. ‘Well, I think both Taylor’s and Hugo’s unhappiness stems from the same problem; neither of them wants to be apart for Christmas. They’ve become attached to each other, and they went to share that special day together and with you.’ His explanation made a lot of sense, and I internally berated myself for not already knowing that was the problem. 

‘I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix that. I would love to spend Christmas with Taylor, but I had already agreed to spend the holidays with my family because she was supposed to spend them in England with you. And I don’t want to cancel on them because I haven’t spent a Christmas with them since I’ve been married to Josh, which means they’ve never spent it with their grandson,’ I paused as the feeling of dread washed over me, ‘Oh my fucking god,’ I grabbed on to Joe’s arms as the heavy feeling of guilt settled in my stomach, ‘I’m going to be sick,’ I was the worst parent in the fucking world. I didn’t deserve the title, mom. 

‘What’s wrong?’ asked Joe, his voice laced with concern, ‘are you ill? Do you need a doctor?’ He attempted to move, probably to call 911, but I held on to him. 

‘I haven’t gotten any presents for Hugo. it’s five days until Christmas, and I have no money. What I did have, I spent on the hotel,’ I said as I burst into tears, ‘Christmas had been the last thing on my mind with everything else I had going on with Josh, the divorce and Taylor and me getting back together. Josh keeps control of all our bank accounts. I don’t have any access to them, and now my boy is going to wake up on Christmas morning in a house that he doesn’t want to be in, without any gifts from his momma,’ my heart was breaking, and I couldn’t help but hate myself.