The Price I Must Pay | JayWon

8 | The Art of Remembering

      "Hyung."

      "Hm." Heeseung hummed, looking up from Jungwon's hospital documents. Heeseung had finally been able to see his brother in person for the month. Before hand, he had been able to visit about once a week, but since finals neared (and the student council meetings and work), it had became more difficult for him to visit.

        "Can I ask you something?- And tell you something?" Jungwon asked. "Yeah..?" The older responded, weary.

       Jungwon squinted his eyes, "You don't sound too sure."

      "I'm sure. Just.. ask away."

      Jungwon paused a second before continuing, "It's about Jay." Heeseung froze in place, only staring at the younger. "What about him..?"

      "I remember him now."

      Four words Heeseung didn't want to hear. "Oh."

      "I know you didn't want me to remember him too."

      Silence fell upon the siblings. Heeseung chuckled after a while, "Yeah.. You could say that.."

      Jungwon gripped onto the bed sheets, "Why? Why didn't you want me to remember him..?" He tried his best not to tear up.

      Heeseung thought about it, "Remember all those years of me never letting you meet my friends?"

      Jungwon knew it too well. The only close friend of Heeseung's (besides the group) Jungwon met was Jay. He nodded.

      "Remember all those times I "interrupted" a moment you and Jay had?" Heeseung added. Jungwon nodded.

      "I... I didn't want you to get too close to them.. I just... I don't want to see you get hurt. Your the only person I have right now."

      Jungwon pursed his lips into a thin line, "Heeseung, as much as I appreciate your concern, I am an adult now. I don't need you to choose who you think I should talk to."

      "I know, Won. I know. I'm sorry."

      The siblings sat in silence, "I couldn't forgive myself for letting you walk home by yourself in your condition." Heeseung said. Jungwon looked up and saw his brother in tears.

      "It hurt me to see you limp in Jay's arms.. Finding out you also had the hanahaki disease for three months without me knowing hurt me even more." Heeseung looked away, not wanting Jungwon to see him cry. Jungwon started tearing up too.

      "Why didn't you tell me?"

      "I knew if I told you, you would act like this. Plus, I didn't want your friendship with Jay to be ruined because of me. I didn't need your help either way. I could figure it out myself." Jungwon admitted.

"You never ask for help, and you never voice your desires. How am I supposed to help you if you never ask for anything?!" Heeseung choked out a sob.

"I don't want to be an inconvenience!" Jungwon cried out, tears falling down his face. "You will never be an inconvenience if you ask for help or for something, Jungwon!"

      "It's... It's just so hard for me.." The younger said, quietly, choking on a sob. After a second, the older hugged his brother tightly. Jungwon hugged him back. Both were crying in each others arms.

      "You're all I have, Won. I can't lose you. Not yet."

      "I'm sorry.." Jungwon sobbed.

They stayed like that for a while to calm down. Heeseung measured his brothers head, quietly mumbling an apology.