the perfect pair | PABLO GAVI

[11] don't even

☆

Y/N's POV

"que?"

"y/n, you don't mean that. tell us what's bothering you." jonatan who is now kneeling in front of me, is trying to get anything out of me.

i sigh and shut my eyes together. "i just did. i don't feel at home like i used to."

if i'm being honest, spain will never be home.

i left everything back in the states weeks before turning sixteen just to be with barça. i've met so many people i've dreamt and would've never dreamt of meeting, but that doesn't compare to everything i miss.

i didn't even get to graduate with my friends the way we all planned to and after everything i learned yesterday and was just confirmed about today, just proves it wasn't worth leaving. "estás segura de lo que estás diciendo?"

no, but i can't say that now. "something like that. it's all too much and-"

"i'm so so sorry for interrupting but the practice you changed the time from 11:00 to 9:00 is starting soon, xavi."

it was lola and now was actually a good time to panic.

the whole reason i thought coming here early was so none of them would see me at all. "tell them to wait, it's really important that this conversation gets dealt with first." she nods stiffly and walks out shutting the door with her. "we want you here at barça. where can we meet halfway?!"

halfway? how about i go back home completely to never see or run into him again?

"and where is halfway, xavi?!" i've never liked pouting or throwing a fit but i truly can't help this feeling. "y/n, i never wanted you to leave knowing you were in a vulnerable state, i thought it was a good idea and for the year you were living there i continued to think it was. but if you'd like, you can move back in with me."

i tilted my head ever so slightly.

move back in with xavi?

see, when i first came here, xavi was the closest thing to home.

i showed him recipes my mom had shown me that he'd help me with, i spent my first christmas without my family with him and we went on many vacations together. he was my ride everywhere and presented me with everything i wanted.

but when i moved in with salma and jana, never would i have imagined moving back in.

it feels like we're only going backwards and in my gut i know it isn't a good thing. but he must really not want me to go home or ever think about it again.

"y/n? are you okay?"

jonatan now takes a seat next to me on the couch and pulls me in slightly before i accommodate myself for the cry of my life in his arms.

"there's nothing more i hate than taking everything that was said to heart and i hate the things i said to defend myself that were just as mean and i just really—i really wanna take yesterday back, i'm so sorry."

by now, my head is buried in jonatan's neck as xavi is rubbing my back.

"shh, it's all over, mija. when you're ready to talk, we'll have it." i shift my head towards xavi who wipes the tears off my cheek. meanwhile, i'm making no progress in composing myself after that cry.