Mind blowing holidays (Dark clouds before sunny weather - Side story)

Chapter 4

"A-Yu, what kind of Christmas cookies should we bake?" someone asked and Mo Xuanyu's head snapped up from looking at his dinner.

He had not been listening to the conversation for a while now, too preoccupied by his own thoughts and worries. With every passing day, they came closer and closer to the actual holidays and he was feeling more and more on edge. Until now, his teacher's family was nothing but kind to him, even getting him an advent calendar, something he had never expected to be able to enjoy.

It still felt like a miracle to him that he was allowed to have so much fun together with A-Yuan and Yi. However, he knew fully well that he was neglecting his duties and putting off starting the preparations for the holidays. He was feeling guilty and was often debating with himself at night, questioning what he should do.

He knew how everything should go, but he was still hesitating. His teacher's family had not uttered a single word, nor had they scolded him for not having the whole house sparkling clean yet. Not that there was much Mo Xuanyu could actually clean, the family was extremely tidy. It did not stop the guilt from growing though. All the more that when he had actually tried to at least dust the surfaces which were usually out of sight, his teacher's husband had found out and had sent him to play with A-Yuan and A-Yi instead.

Also, the school Christmas party was just few days away and he did not have the faintest idea what he should bring as a present for the exchange with his classmates. When he had tried to sneakily go out with the garbage and look if there would not be something he could use, he had been found out immediately. And once again, although his teacher did give him a curious look, he was not angry and did not hit him. He had only sent him to play with A-Yuan and A-Yi again after saying that he did not need to do this kind of chores in their house.

"A-Yu?" his teacher asked and Mo Xuanyu panicked even more.

Every second, he was waiting for the hammer to drop. When would his teacher's family stop being kind to him and he would have to go back to his previous life? If he was not allowed to do anything in the house, how could he show them that he could be a good boy? If they started to think that he was a bad boy, he would deserve all the beatings they wanted to bestow upon him and all other discipline which waited ahead.

"What kind of cookies would you like to bake for Christmas?"

Oh, there was a question, and he was supposed to answer. Finally, something that Mo Xuanyu could do. He knew how this one went. He only hoped that his teacher's family would be satisfied with his lacking skills.

"I only know how to make sugar cookies," he admitted quietly. He was ashamed. Despite spending a few hours in the library at school looking for cooking books, there were not any. He had not been able to study any other recipes so he could only offer what he already knew.

"Yay! Sugar cookies!" cheered A-Yi loudly and his enthusiasm made Mo Xuanyu's panic subside a little. He did not know what he would have done if his teacher's family said that did not like those. What else was he supposed to prepare for them?

"Mn," his teacher's husband nodded his head thoughtfully. "We usually do not make these, but they could be a good addition. We will put the ingredients needed on our shopping list."

"Yes, and we can all have fun decorating them," added Mo Xuanyu's teacher with a wide grin.

He ruffled Mo Xuanyu's hair and the boy did not even think of moving away, he had gotten so used to this kind of affection that he could not bring himself to not crave it. Rationally, he knew that it would be all that more painful later on if he got used to his teacher's current kindness. However, he simply could not help himself. He did not want to lose the warm feeling in his chest whenever he was touched by anyone who did not have the intention to hit or otherwise hurt him.

It felt like he was living in a glistering bubble of happiness. A beautiful but fragile one. He dreaded the day when it would burst and leave nothing but his tears behind.

"Yes!" cheered both A-Yuan and A-Yi together.

Despite the weight of the whole holidays-approaching situation and his incessant worries, Mo Xuanyu had to smile. He loved seeing his friends being happy. They were both such good boys and they deserved the world, just as his teacher and his husband were always telling them. It was nice seeing such a kind and caring family and be able to share just a little bit of that happiness.

Mo Xuanyu did not take part in the conversation which followed – everyone was discussing what kind of designs they could make for the sugar cookies and what other sweets and pastries they would like to make for the Christmas – he only concentrated on his dinner and on keeping back his tears. He did not know why exactly he felt like he was about to cry, again, but he did not want to ruin that perfect family moment on which he had intruded.

When they finished eating and Mo Xuanyu got up to wash the dishes – action which was swiftly overtaken by his teacher's husband and he was told, again, to go play with A-Yuan and A-Yi instead – his teacher cheerily announced: "I have decided! Since tomorrow is Friday and we are still two weeks from Christmas, we should practice making sugar cookies during the weekend. We will get all the ingredients tomorrow and then we can have a baking day on Saturday. What do you say? We will need some taste-testers too. Who is with me?"

"Me!" A-Yuan and A-Yi shouted excitedly.

Once again, Mo Xuanyu had to smile at their enthusiasm. It was so different from everything he had ever known. His two friends were definitely looking forward to the holidays, one could tell with just one glance. And he was happy for them. He decided that he would do his best on Saturday.

"What about you, A-Yu? Do you want to bake sugar cookies on Saturday?" A-Yuan asked him with a huge grin, almost jumping out of his skin with excitement. "Do not be nervous, we can have a trial run and if they do not turn out well, we will just have to eat all of them and do one more round to have the best ones out there. It will be fun, I promise."

Mo Xuanyu had not even realized that he was being nervous before A-Yuan pointed it out. He must have been more anxious about all the preparations and the upcoming holiday than he admitted even to himself. But there was nothing to be scared about right now, was there? Not with A-Yuan smiling at him like an angel that he was in his eyes.

"Hm, me too," he admitted shyly, still not completely sure that he should be allowed to intrude on the happiness of his teacher's family so much.

"Good," A-Yuan praised and hugged Mo Xuanyu to show him how happy his friend's reply had made him. Almost unconsciously, Mo Xuanyu hugged him back and hid his smile into the other's shoulder. He was actually looking forward to Saturday now.