Can't I Love You Both? - Hailee Steinfeld & Florence Pugh

eighteen

The anger I felt yesterday when I noticed the lack of my favorite brunette is insane. She didn't answer her phone, didn't text me back, but fortunately, Ella thought more than Hailee and she texted me that they were together.

But it didn't mean that I slept anything. She's just lucky that I have a free day today because of the assault.

Florence shared my worries, not knowing what happened just like me, so while I stayed on the couch, the blonde slept on it too with her head on my lap.

It's around 8 a.m when I hear the door unlocking, which makes me jump after gently resting Flo's head on the pillow.

"Jayden, why are you up?" The brunette asks confusedly in a quiet tone, seeing me walking to me. I only huff and continue to approach her with a blank face. "I'm sor-" She tries to apologize, but I wrap my arms around her, squeezing tightly.

"If you do this shit again, I'm gonna drive to get you whenever you are" I mutter angrily to her ear before stepping back. "What the hell you were thinking, leaving like that?" I whisper-yell, getting out my emotions just slightly. The rest of the emotions I'll get rid of tomorrow during practice.

"I'm sorry" She seems actually regretting her action. I know because I saw this face already. "I needed to think and I couldn't do it here" She explains and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Why couldn't you do it here? You know I'd give you space if you just say something" I tell her and she sighs, looking down at the floor briefly.

"No, it'd be just worse to be honest" She replies, having some new attitude. "How the hell I can think about it when the only thought on my mind would be you and Florence? Probably kissing again or even something more!" She accuses, her voice getting louder. I widen my eyes in shock as my breath hitches.

"W-What?"

"Oh, please, don't play dumb" She scoffs humorlessly at my stuttering. "I saw you two kissing last night. That's why I left. How the hell am I supposed to behave after that?!"

"I-I" I think about what to say because the situation is very sensitive. "I didn't know you watched, Hailee. But even then, why are you reacting like this? I thought we're friends" I mumble confusedly, feeling a little sick when I say these words.

"Friends?! You think I slept with you because we're just friends? Come on, Jayden! Use your fucking brain, at least for once!" She screams at me and I blink in shock at the reminder. "In my entire life, I only slept with four people and I loved all of them!"

Ah, cat is out of the bag finally.

Yes. Hailee and I slept with each other once during the quarantine. It happened at my birthday. I was really sad that I couldn't spend it with my family and we both got really drunk and then it just happened. I don't really remember who kissed who first, but before I know it, we're fully making out on my bedroom floor, half naked Hailee underneath me.

We fuck the entire night, but when I woke up in the morning, I was alone in the bed and we just never talked about it. We behaved like nothing happened between us. Until now.

"Hailee... I-I-" I start stammering, being taken from surprise at the last sentence. She loved everyone?

"For fuck's sake, just forget it. I'm leaving" She scoffs and turns to leave, but instinctively, I grasp her wrist to stop from leaving. "Leave me alone, Jayden!" She struggles against my hold, so I tighten my grip.

"No! Don't run from me, Hailee! I won't let you do that again!" I exclaim, moving to stand in front of her.

"Please. I don't wanna hear what you have to say" She mumbles, sounding desperate and tired. She shuts her eyes closed and I notice the single tear leaving her closed eyes, making my heart break a bit.