Okay, let me get one thing straight. This is a journal, not a diary. I asked my mom to get me a journal but like all women, they can't seem to get a damn thing right. but any-fucking-ways, I started getting really bummed out that no woman wants to date me. I mean, what's not to like? I'm handsome, charming, charismatic, and all-around a really fucking good guy to be with. It's what evs anyway, their loss amirite dawg... (this is the part where you agree with me) So I recently started watching this youtuber who calls himself Andrew Tate, I thought he was pretty fucking gay at first because first of all: He doesn't have a gaming channel so why bother watching him. but then I really started listening to what he was saying and it got me inspired to be a mega-alpha male. so I went on reddit.com and went on r/ask Reddit and asked the people of plebbit if they knew Andrew Tate's number. someone actually did and he gave it to me. I gave it a dial and I got to speak to him man to man.
So you wouldn't fucking believe this but he actually picked up. yeah, I said it, he actually picked up the dang darn phone. I told him "hello is this Mr. Tate? he says "who is this?" I said "that's irrelevant, listen to me, you need to teach me how to be an alpha ma-" he hung up on me. that got me really mad because no one hangs up on me, Taylor Maroquin: emperor of awesome. so i called him back and he picked up and I said "you didn't let me finish, listen dawgatron, you have to teach me how to be an alpha male please I'm begging you." Andrew tate says "why should i?" and I say "because no girl wants me" and he says "sounds like a skill issue, see ya later twerp" and he hangs up on me again. I was furious that he would not only hang up on me a second time but, that he also called me a twerp. so you know what I did? I started thinking, yeah I said it, I started thinking. then I got an idea an idea an idea. I went to reddit.com again and went on r/askreddit and asked the people of plebbit if they knew Andrew Tate's house address. and they all were saying things like "Woah dude what's your deal?" I didn't really give a fuck so in the meantime, I am gonna go hit on some girls. I went to McDonald's and I saw a femoid named Ms. Meza. I said "whats shakin bacon, you want to go back to my place?" and she said "Taylor i am your fucking teacher, I can call your parents and tell them about your behavior" i said "oh yeah? do you know who my dad is? he is Andrew Tate" she said "who the fuck is that?" that got me really mad so I started huffing and puffing but before anything else happened, Mr. Carver came in and said, "Hey what do you think you're doing with my girl?!" I said "erm... what the deuce" and Ms. Meza said "Mr. Carver, you're a really nice guy but... I think we should be friends" then Mr carver goes "what? am I not good enough? after everything I've done this is how you repay me? oh hell naw to the naw naw naw" I knew things were gonna get nasty so I said "I'm outta here" so I left the McDonald's, yeah I said it, I left the focking McDonalds.
so i went back home and checked my reddit.com account and they fucking banned me. i got really mad so i went to the reddit headquarters and demanded that they unban me. they said "nuh uh" and i said "yuh huh" and they said "nuh uh" and i said "yuh huh" this went on for what felt like 20 minutes until they eventually got tired and said "okay you win kid, you can now go to reddit" i said "BOOOYAAAHH" so i threw a molotov at them because i am a badass" so i check my reddit account and i saw the replies to my r/askplebbit post and someone actually sent me his address. so i went to the airport and got on a plane and said "take me to romania" they said "erm... this is a flight to new york city kid, your shit outta luck". i got mad so i made a mad dash to the inside of the cockpit and i said "let me fly this thing" so we start taking off and next thing you know, im flying. thing is, i dont really know how to fly so i just did what every good pilot does. i jumped out of the plane and made my way to romania. i deployed my glider which by the way, costed about 2,000 vbucks. not to flex but, im kinda the next big thing. it took a while but i eventually landed in romania.
