Remarkably Obnoxious

Chapter 4

The carriage ride started in silence.

From opposite Anthony, I watched him carefully as he sorted out his thoughts. It must have been hard being a man. Thinking all the time about the little things us women got accused of crying over.

"I will not marry you," he said, breaking the silence that had settled around us.

"I do believe I never proposed," I replied, fiddling with my gloves but peering up at him in thought.

"We are unchaperoned, Your Grace, it is a sin." I brushed aside the fact that he called my 'your grace' and focused on the fact he was so bothered about us being unchaperoned.

"A sin? You think this is a sin, Lord Bridgerton? I should think you have committed worse sins than this. Perhaps we should discuss the opera singer you are seeing." Watching the shock on his face, I was beyond satisfied.

"What do you know of Siena?"

"I know that you believe yourself to be in love with her," I told him, finding it amusing as he straightened in his seat, trying to figure out how he could take control of the situation.

"I am in love with her, not that it is any concern of yours," he argued and I knew if he was capable he would have stormed off.

"What do you know of love, Lord Bridgerton?"

"What do you know about it?" he fired back, that fire growing in his eyes as he narrowed them at me. "You are but a child, an unmarried one at that. I am not green, I have experience."

I scoffed at his words. He says he is not green, yet he believes he is in love with the opera singer.

"Your words are true. I am unmarried and to many I am still a child when it comes to love and marriage, but I do not agree that you are experienced in the ways of love, Lord Bridgerton," I told him, leaning forward and capturing his dark eyes with mine. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me that what you feel for the opera singer is love and not lust?"

"I—" I held up my hand to stop him from speaking and tilted my head to the side.

"I have seen many people in love around me, my Lord, I have watched my favourite brother fall in love and lose the love of his life. He has explained to me how love is. I have seen it in his eyes." I paused, believing that Ernest would not blame me for sharing his love with Lydia to Anthony. "They burned for each other. When they loved it was full of passion. He shared that with the world. He was proud of her, declaring his love for her whenever he could. He did not care what the eyes of the ton thought of him and Lydia."

Anthony gulped, his eyes slowly watching me as I turned away from him and glanced out of the window.

"Ernest said that true love is different for everyone. Lydia once told me that the love she held for Ernest was comparable to a fire. It starts off with the smallest of sparks and the quickly engulfs you with a consuming heat." I turned back to face Anthony, locking my eyes with his. "Does your opera singer make you feel like you are being consumed by a burning fire, Lord Bridgerton? When you argue, does it feel like you are about to explode? Are you afraid that your love will smother you and the flames between you will be extinguished?" When Anthony stayed quiet I knew we both knew the answers he was afraid to give. "I fear you are not consumed by love, Lord Bridgerton, only lust."

Minutes trickled by as we both sat there letting my words sink into the silence between us. The pair of us both pondered our thoughts as we allowed the carriage to carry us to the wedding party.

"It is not the same," he finally said, causing me to look at him with furrowed brows. "My relationship with Siena. It is not the same Ernest shared with his wife."

"You are not much different than Ernest, Anthony," I replied, scoffing slightly as his eyebrows rose. Perhaps it was the shock that I used his name again. Or perhaps it was because I was arguing with him. "Siena is an opera singer. Lydia ... my sweet sister-in-law, she was very much like your opera singer." I gave him my full attention, smiling softly as I thought of my sister-in-law. "Lydia was my lady's maid. Ernest met her when he came home six years ago after his tour of Greece. Their love was ... no one could come between them. My father, even he could see that their love was true. Ernest cared little that she was a maid. He wanted to marry her and he did. That is where you are different from Ernest, Anthony. He married the woman he loved, even when she was beneath his status. You would not do the same for Siena."

His jaw twitched and I knew I was right.

Even if he said he loved her, he would not marry her.

"Do you not think it cruel to keep her when you can not give her what she desires? Is it not selfish of you, Anthony, to keep pretending you love her when you know that you do not or ever could?" I turned away from him and from the look in his eye. He was starting to believe that I was right. He was accepting that he had to let her go. "It is not love you think you are feeling, Lord Bridgerton. Just lust."

The carriage slowed down, the rocking motion that signalled movement coming to a stand still.

"I have not experienced love, Lord Bridgerton, but I long to feel the smallest ounce of that passion you thought you felt," I muttered, letting myself peer at him from the corner of my eye. "If I can feel the smallest flame within me, a shred of what Ernest felt when he had Lydia, then I would be able to die knowing I loved while I was alive."

Moving as the door opened, I accepted Ernest's hand as he waited for me, not bothering to look back at Anthony as I allowed my brother to escort me into the party.