My Last Chance [Made in Abyss Fanfiction]

18| Fragile Paradise

A chilly wind whips against me, sending shivers across my skin. I exhale sharply and pull up my hood, not taking my eyes off the distant shores beneath the cliffs. There's been no signs of movement, no signs of possible pursuers. I still refuse to relax. The stone beneath me might as well be ice, but I still don't move. After having my night ruined by a new nightmare, I won't return to the stifling confines of the cave. If anything, I'm keeping watch by sitting outside here. My coat blends into the gray-brown and white landscape around me, so I shouldn't have any worries.

   Amidst the whistling wind, a small crunch of snow makes itself known. I whirl around, hackles raised, only to relax when I see it's Melva.

   "Len? I was wonderin' where ya went." She approaches me with a raised brow. "I thought Alejo was supposed to be takin' the last watch before sunrise."

   "He was, but I took it for him." I clench my fists as Melva gives me a disapproving look. "I-I couldn't sleep, okay? I was..." My knees pull up to my chest, and I hunch forwards to rest my arms atop them.

   "I thought Aedia was helpin' with the nightmares?"

   "She does, but n-not all of them are helped, especially not the one I just had." Deep breaths, I need to breathe if I want to discuss this rationally... "I-it was about... Rayne." Slowly, I tell Melva what I saw, unconsciously sketching in the snow with my finger as I do so. Rayne's small body slowly coming apart, piece by piece, torn away by black hands with nails like scalpels. All the while, I lay watching in a pool of my own blood as more of those hands gouge at my stomach. Completely helpless to stop it, even though I know I can if I just fight hard enough. "It was still my fault... I-I know I couldn't have saved those other children, but I could've saved her." My eyes burn, and my hands futilely try to wipe away the tears leaking from them.

   "Kid—"

   "And I was going to end up just like them, a-a damn experiment for him to toy with!" Rage burns through me, though it hardly dampens the sorrow that still wrings tears from my eyes. "H-he took her apart, Melva! He broke her down like a piece of meat, and I didn't do anything to stop him! The sounds, the smells, it was like watching Vio die all over again, I can't—" My body seizes as arms envelop me, but I recognize their hold and lean into them, continuing to cry. "I'm so sorry, Melva... I-I shouldn't be crying."

   She shakes her head. "Don't be sorry. I know I didn't give ya any time when I got ya outta that cell, so get whatever ya need to out. I'm right here."

   When did she become so caring? Had I finally broken her down with my years of instability and pain? Guilt floods me, but I force it back as I rest my head against Melva's shoulder. No, this sympathy isn't because I wore her down, she chose to be like this. For that, overwhelming appreciation and gratitude fills me, but it's brief as reality returns and hits harder than before. The reason we're even in this situation in the first place...