Fran's thoughts and probably other things...

TTM x Fran: Losing Air in My Own Mind. Part 2

Sjhshegehevvwvehehejhe

I am drowning

But I have made a new body

I'm at a legality rn and the blast of the music is moving my guts and it's weird and I don't like it. The song is firework btw.

This new body is separate from me. My temporary existence is but a paper cut out. Fake. And easily breakable.

My mind wanders. I am in newly death bliss and I feel... A feeling hard to describe. I feel like crying but I'm not sure if it's bc of happiness or sadness.

I am free. I am losing air in my own mind. I am losing meaning to master. I am fading. I am...

Hands hold my throat, the pressure would surely leave a bruise.

I feel safe in these hands: the hands of the lover I refuse to accept in my heart.

He is represented by an addiction. An addiction that rots the mind like maggots. He could be represented by a nicer thing, like... Like mushrooms or sleeping. But he is what I have made him to be.

TTM is a man of my own perception of the addiction of tik tok but in time his meaning has grown. I hate him. But I love the way he gets to me, how he makes me feel fleeting bounds of adrenaline.

I am losing air in my own play. I am the star, the puppeteer. I am losing to a doll. I am letting myself lose to a pointless ragdoll.

He was designed to seduce and intoxicate my mind. He doesn't love me, but he needs me to some extent. There are many more to go to if I decide I don't want him anymore, yet- the hands release my neck leaving red stinging stains on my skin- he does me so passionately.

Hot kisses sprinkle against the painful marks. Tears trickle down my eyes. I don't like crying.

He is silent and that is scary. I hate this ear bleeding silence and he's just staring at me, on top of me, he has the dominance I've always wanted.

My hips are grabbed, hard. I flinch. I'm sorr- no, that was mean, I'm not zoning out.

I feel hot and cold on the bedroom floor. I hate this feeling, he's stalling my ruining.

TTM is undressing me... So damn slowly.

He holds my crotch, teasing me.

Finally he speaks, "Such a needy little bitch" he... That was so clichè but yes I am.

I don't want to say anything. I just look at him, I beg softly through this stare.

He takes note of the stare, but doesn't want to show me.

The hold on my crotch tightens. It hurts so good, I let out a small squeak.

The sound of the unzipping of my shorts feels so so good. The pressure on my cock is loosened a bit.

A now pointless piece of clothing(my shorts) is flunged off to somewhere. And I am now in my underwhere.

His slips a finger through my inner thigh. It feels so nice but a little ticklish.

His fingers then trace the garter of my brief(?) and pulls them down and discards it like my shorts.

I cock is erect and pulsating. Not really an impressive length but it does have a concerning impatientness.

Taking in the view, he leans forward to my dick. This is really embarrassing.

His hot breath against me; feels... AMAZING.

If wasn't to die in a few minutes I'd like to with him like this forever, though I'd never confess this to him. It would hurt my pride.

(I have a good next part I wrote on paper I'll edit the part via picture of the paper)

             The end.