It's obvious.
In my third year in college, I put this persona. It's the moment I changed my nickname from Ana to Fila. The sweet submissive woman who likes pink, listens to men well, and succumbs to the authority of patriarchy. It's the childhood self image I had before being redpilled.
Fila attracts a lot of men, but most of the time, it's the wrong type of men. The uncharismatic type, the not-so-academic-achiever type of men. And my past self loves to think that I could make a friendship out of them. Which of course is a lesson I will soon learn eventually.
Then I met the same man who I thought was an ideal man. It's the tutor i met in august 2019. I had never said hello to him, just occasionally bumped into him. He seemed like he's pretty active in classes; raises his hands almost every time a discussion is held, pretty critical and curious. He caught my eyes, and I told Ageng on my notes app on my phone, "He's my type". I typed it down on 12th February 2020.
Despite my admiration towards him, I never really greet him. I don't really greet any strangers. But on a random noon at 5 pm and I was saying bye to everyone in the room, and he was there, so I smiled at him.
As soon as I left, I could feel his gaze lingering on my back. I turned around. Our eyes met for the second time that day. He was shyly smiling back.
Days after that he followed my instagram. And I've never told anyone my user, he must've found out about it himself. I didn't use it. Social media wasn't built for me. I knew at that moment it was infatuation. It's obvious.
YOU ARE READING
Of Petals And Thorns
Short StoryHis gifts were lying near the front door i had opened months ago. He found me at the back of the crowd, with his hand behind his back, and those same warm eyes I've stared at before. This is a story that I wish I could rewrite.
