Beyond Our Deaths, I'll Remember

By What You Speak

Awareness came back to him slowly.

He felt the coarseness of the bed first, the thin blanket wrapped around him that offered laughably little comfort. Then, the light. It was harsh but dim, shining somewhere ahead, somewhere he couldn't quite pinpoint—perhaps above? Then he heard the beeping of a heart monitor, and knew where he was.

Shuntarou shifted with a groan.

It was difficult, at first, with the way the blanket weighed him down, trapping him like an ant under a boot, before his strength gradually returned to him.

Propping himself up on shaking arms, he felt his heart lurch in his chest, a sure sign that he'd had a heart attack. Memories came back to him, slowly, like a movie reel: Shuntarou heading to Shibuya Station, the crowd, the noise of the city, and, though hazy, he thought he remembered three boys running through the streets, and fireworks.

Oh. That's right.

The fireworks.

He remembered thinking it was odd; there were rarely fireworks being set off anywhere around Tokyo not during New Years, and hardly during the day at that. Then, nothing.

Except, that wasn't quite right.

There was something more; something important; sitting, waiting, just in the back of his mind, but no matter how hard he tried to reach for it, it slipped away like sand through his fingers.

How odd.

He inhaled deeply, slowly, feeling the way his chest expanded, air filling his lungs, and the pull of stitches in his side. He was injured.

That—something—not quite it, but not quite...not, filled in some of the gaps.

A meteor. Not fireworks.

Odder than everything that had happened.

Something moved, shifted, just out of sight, and then he was locking eyes with his roommate. Well, eye.

The man was heavily bandaged, with third degree burns standing stark against the sterile whiteness of the hospital. The man—whoever he was—scratched at the something in Shuntarou's head, waiting for him to itch it.

His eye was hazy, a dark brown that was nearly black, before full consciousness cleared his head, and he glared. It was impressive, considering the severity of his injuries. "What d'you want?" His body shook as he let out a rattling cough.

Shuntarou returned his gaze to the ceiling, finally spotting the light that had woken him. "It looks to me as if you've experienced a heart attack."

The man let out a raspy scoff. "What's it to ya? You a doctor?"

Something like a smile pulled at his lips, but not quite. "Something like that."

The man, unamused, let the tension bleed from him, and he went lax against the pillows. "Same boat, huh? What a coincidence."

He hummed. "So. We both almost died." The man grunted in agreement. "You feel any different, now?"

"You mean other than like a stick of kushiage?"

This time, Shuntarou did smile. "Yeah."

"Dunno. I look a lot worse. Could be a lot worse. What about you?"

Shuntarou thought about it. Thought about it more than he had in a long while. Things were...different, now, he just knew. Maybe... "I've done a lot of things. Choices I made that I wish I didn't. I think, now, I'll turn my life around."

His roommate scoffed again, but Shuntarou knew there was no real malice in it. "You've done shitty things too, huh? You fucked up?"

Shuntarou felt something heavy lift as he allowed himself to relax. "Yeah. I have. But, this time, I think I'm going to do something different."

With the admission, he let himself rest.

—

It wasn't until he saw her that things became clear.

Kuina was guiding the wheelchair of a women who looked remarkably like her, gauze wrapped securely around her arms and hands. Shuntarou thought he saw some peaking from beneath her hospital clothes, and noticed her dreadlocks had been smoothed, likely so the nurses could remove any debris that got caught.

He didn't notice he had come to a stop until she looked up at him, and something like recognition flashed in her eyes, before it was replaced with confusion.

"I'm sorry, but...do I know you?"

Shuntarou felt an ache he'd never experienced before.

He hadn't realized that he'd grown to...cherish the company he kept with Kuina, her friendship. She had become someone quite close to him in their time in the Borderlands, and he didn't think he'd miss that until she was standing before him, with only an inkling to his name.

He'd never been close to anyone, but now, he'd hate to lose that friendship.

"You might. I'm Chishiya."

It wasn't until he spoke that something clicked. They didn't come back all at once, but one by one, Hikari remembered.

She remembered Chishiya. She remembered the Beach, the Games—Ann. She remembered Ann.

The breath left her in a rush, and she suddenly felt so fucking weak, like her skin was too big for her, like she was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Hikari's legs gave out under her, and then Chishiya was holding her.

"Are you okay?" The unexpectedness of the question was nearly enough to send her back to the floor, but with a shaky exhale, she was back on her feet, if a bit unsteady.

"Hikari? Hikari, are you alright?" her mother asked, struggling to look back at her. Hikari tried for a reassuring smile, but she was sure it fell flat.

"She'll be fine," Chishiya answered for her, and then he was helping her to a seat by the window.

Hikari tried to reorient herself, counted her breaths until they had calmed, traced the flakes in the hospital ceiling, until her fingers stopped spasming at her sides and she could open her mouth without feeling like she would vomit.

"I'm—yeah, I'm okay, now." Then, "Am I dead? I feel like I'm dead."

Chishiya's lips crooked up, which for him might as well be a full-bodied laugh, and he sat opposite of her, eyes assessing her much like they did the first time they met. That, at least, she was used to.

"I'll go on a limb here and say you're still alive," he said, and that was the thing that convinced her she was there, she was really truly alive and it wasn't all just the hysteria of nearly being killed at the King of Spades' hands that caused one big hallucination before her death.

She chuckled absently, fingers tangling themselves in the locks she had yet to redo. "Never thought I'd hear that same dry sense of humor again," she admitted, and was glad when he didn't laugh at her.

He did arch a brow at her though, the questioning Oh? going unsaid, but she knew him well enough by now.

"I..."

"Hikari? Who is this?"

Annnnd suddenly she was painfully aware her mother was still there.

"He's, uh," she tried to say, when her mother just continued to look at her expectantly, something like concern seeping into her expression. No doubt this was a very weird conversation to anyone who hadn't been to the Borderlands. Still, she hesitated, looking uncertainly at Chishiya.

He met her gaze with something akin to fondness.

"A friend," he finished for her. And really, how was she not supposed to react to him calling them friends for the first time since they met?

Hikari felt her eyes prickle tellingly, her mouth melting into a happy grin as she returned the fond look.

"Yeah. A friend."