I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. That would be too easy. I sigh and look around the room. The boys are all laughing about something someone said. What's the point? Nothing is fun anymore. Nothing is worth my happiness. I just feel sort of numb. I like it better this way. It's better then all of the pain. I can see all of the disappointment in every ones eyes. How I've let them down. I'm not talented like they thought I was. I'm just dragging this band down and I can't keep doing it. It's alright though because tonight I'm going to end it. I won't be here anymo-
"NIALL!"
I jump at Liam's voice shouting in my ear. I shake my head and look at him.
"You okay, mate?"
He asks. There it is again. The disappointment in his eyes and his his voice. No Liam, I'm not okay. I never am anymore. But don't worry, it ll will be after tonight. I realize I still havn't answered him. I just nod being able to lie with my words anymore. He just sighs and turns back to the other boys, leaving me to my thoughts once again. I notice all of the boys stand up from their seats. I guess its time to leave and go to work. I follow behind the boys, getting into the car and close the door behind me. I start snapping the rubber band on my wrist. Sometimes, even the numb is too muc to take. I need to feel something. Even if that something is pain.
"Mate! Niall STOP!"
I jump at the loud voices. Someone grabs my wrist. All of they guys are staring at me like I did something wrong. Well, me and my wrist. I look down and see that its actually bleeeding. I smile at the sight. Zayn grips my wrist tighter.
"Are you okay?"
I can sense all of the boys staring at my face. I can't brig my self to answer. I just sit there smiling at the blood thats forming in dots on my wrist.
All of the boys start whispering between themselves. I catch a couple phrases like "What's wrong with him" and "We have to talk to Uncle Si" but I'm still entranced with my wrist. It doesn't even hurt. I can't believe I did tht myself. Or that I waited this long to do it.
"He's still smiling at it!"
Harry yells at Louis to lower his voice and they all start whispering again. Liam looks at me and then decides to address everyone at a regular volume.
"That's it. Niall is going to a specialist tomorrow."
Too bad tomorrow I'll already be long gone.
Hey guys! Someone introduced me to this thing called a songfic and I though it was one of the coolest things. So I decied to do one! Thanks for reading! Leave some comments please!! :)
