in every universe (one shot-s) | JENLISA

that is not you (or is it?)

There are quite a few things in her life that Lisa holds Minnie responsible for, including but not limited to: the small white scar on her left elbow, the missing lid of their coffee machine, the continued existence of her own sanity, and the fact that last week their new mailman had assumed she was her girlfriend based on "the way you two were standing together, you know? Plus, she's wearing cargo shorts."

So, yes - there's a lot of responsibility living in the walls of apartment 226B, most of it resting on Minnie's sturdy shoulders. And Lisa thinks of all the things that Minnie is responsible for, the one that's happening right now in their living room is the absolute worst of the lot.

"Minnie," she says evenly, trying to restrain herself from either lunging at her best friend or climbing out their second-story window to escape this disaster. "Give me my phone back."

"Sorry, can't do that," Minnie says, thumbing through her phone with a lightning-quick ease that Lisa herself doesn't possess on the best of days. "You just told me you haven't been on a real date in four years, and this profile already looks great. I'm doing this for your own good."

"You knew that already," Lisa points out. "You've been friends with me for all four of those years and more, and it didn't seem to bother you then."

Minnie shrugs, gracefully concedes the point. "Maybe, but things are different now. We live in LA, I have a real job, you've graduated to academic fossil status, and nothing and nobody can touch us if we don't want it to."

The end of that sentence falls heavily between them, bearing weight beyond their simple shape. Something in Lisa's throat tightens, taut with memory.

"Lisa," Minnie says, softer now. Her hand finds her knee on instinct, and Lisa relaxes into the familiar warmth of the touch. "I understand if you're still not ready. But I don't think that's it anymore. I think you're just afraid."

"And what about it?" Lisa answers, mouth dry, jaw clenched. "After everything, after all the shit he did - "

"I know," Dot rushes to say. "I didn't mean that your fear was unjustified. I mean that it's been five years now - or one, depending on how you look at it -  and you shouldn't have to carry that with you anymore." She holds out Lisa's phone as an offering, the screen unlocked and open. "You don't have to use it if you don't want to. But for what it's worth, you deserve to find someone - and even if you don't, you deserve to try."

Lisa takes the phone, closes her hand around it. The ember-red logo of the Tinder app blinks up at her: a bright challenge in the center of her screen, there if she dares to take it.

"Thanks," she says, slow but steady. Then, after a long minute: "I'll think about it."

A smile breaks out across Minnie's face, wide and genuine; against her will, the corners of Lisa's mouth curl upwards to mirror it. Minnie leans over to hug her, pushing both of them back into the sofa, and Lisa pushes at her shoulder without putting strength behind it. "Fuck off, Min, I said I'll think about it."

"I love you too," she says, like it takes no effort, like reading between the lines of Lisa's time-worn, self-defensive script is second nature to her - and, well, it probably is by now. Lisa stops fighting, sinks into the hug, and pries apart her carefully constructed cynicism just long enough to send out a prayer of thanks to the universe for sending her Minnie.

"I think this gets me out of laundry duty for the next day or two," Minnie adds, her arms still wrapped around her, and Lisa sighs.

"Fine, but I'm not washing your cargo shorts."

--

Lisa isn't one to break a promise, so she does exactly as she said she would: she thinks about using Tinder. She just doesn't think very much, or else she thinks about the wrong things altogether, a serial killer in disguise or a first date turned Dateline case. She knows it's not healthy or reasonable, knows that if she's not going dark then she's at least getting dimmer, but she can't shut her mind off regardless.