"Fire!" the General yelled. A rocket shot out of the spacepie and hurtled towards Earth. Its outer coverings started evaporating almost immediately, exposing a tiny atom-like particle that would enter an earthling's brain without the thick-skulled idiot noticing. The General gloated in glee. The particle, named the 'Thortickle' by his scientists working in a huge research centre back on their Planet Lua, would explode in the brain with scandalous ideas that would ultimately lead to earth's destruction. The general's thoughts were interrupted by a firm knock on the hatch door. A young officer came in. "General, the Luans are running out of resources. We need to speed up!" she urged. The general rushed to the control panel and frantically hit some keys. The SpacePie took a deep breath as if to prepare itself and then launched 100 rockets simultaneously and one batch after another in a continuous stream. The general peered down to look at the green and blue planet and cackled in delightful anticipation...
The Thortickles pirouetted a dance of their own and gracefully entered Earth's atmospheres like a skilled diver barely breaking the water's edge. With a sensor inside, the Thortickles detected an earthling and nestled inside the head, just above the temple. It was a perfect penetration, seamless, with no trace whatsoever. The Thortickles went straight to work, transferring futuristic information and ideas into the cranium. Ideas, deemed almost impossible to carry out in this era, bloomed like flowers and exploded with the most vibrant colours. The rest of the earthlings would go with the flow like livestock being herded; they were stupid anyway.
Believing their ideas to be a creative streak, the innovators cheerfully presented the products to the public; the first, a screen so thin and interesting one could carry around in their hand all the time everywhere. The seemingly insignificant piece of metal had so many features; including a curious mechanism that allowed one to capture a face forever in a digital gallery. It was like the Louvre museum in the screen thing! One could go shopping actually inside the screen thing and collect programs that would maintain eye contact with the user for hours on end whilst the fingers moved in a possessed pattern across the screen. The second: a glutinous circle stuffed with numerous choices of chemical substance that could be purchased ready to eat in less than ten seconds almost anywhere in the world. It would come with free side chemicals in the form of skinny long yellow strips and a suspiciously brown popping liquid. The greasy chemicals would then be chomped up by the digestive machines inside the earthling's body which seemed to make anything disappear.
A few years later, all earthlings walked, or rather, waddled and rolled around with the screen stuck to their pudgy little claws. Their eyes were blurry and unfocused as they squinted the whole time at the lit up screens. In their face holes, chewing with what little teeth they had left, the glutinous circles, as if stuck there permanently. It was truly like an extension of the soul. The General was in the SpacePie leisurely drinking a cup of Ancis*, with his feet propped up casually. He had a satisfied smirk, watching the widescreen livestreaming from Earth...but suddenly the widescreen broadcasted an earthling tried to come to his senses and detach the screen from his hand. The earthling's head felt like an ax had been brought upon it and his body strangely heavy like a sack of bricks. He made a series of animal-like yelps whilst thrashing around to rid him of the foreign matter deposited in his barrel body. The general, without even moving an eyebrow hair, pushed a white lever to the max on the controls board with his foot. Immediately the earthling fell still. All around the green and blue planet, all earthlings fell still. Their eyelids closed. The only sound was the special adherent between screen and skin, strengthening and hardening. Then in a scarily synchronised motion, all eyelids flicked open and bored into the screens with renewed interest. The general sighed in approval and clicked another button on the controls board. "Hello? Yes, this is the General. Yes, we start the rampage now." He growled into the intercom. As the sound of heavy boots barreling across the metal walks crisscrossing the SpacePie were heard, the General dressed for battle in excitement. Finally he buckled his belt filled with ammunition and took a deep breath before flying down to the green and blue planet. Yes, he would be victorious.
"I WANT EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY SEARCHED, D'YA HEAR ME TROOPS?!" the General's rough voice echoed across Earth. In unison, the Luan troops silently raised their hands to the sky. A single piercing war cry started battle...not a battle at all actually. The earthlings were dead easy to find because of the nasty pungent fumes they would release every three seconds resulting from the chemical buildup inside, and an eerie luminescent glow the screens stuck on them emitted. They would put up no fight; they were in no condition to.
"Oiiii, this is a very noice one!" a Luan rumbled to his comrade as he poked the masses of lard encasing the earthling.
"Ayyyyeee," the comrade replied back, "Noiice to eeeaaats. I is wants to eats this one!" And with a great big opening of his jaws, he proceeded to sink his razor sharp teeth into the earthling... when the screen froze.
The young bespectacled Franian man paused his presentation and coughed to clear his impossibly long neck.
"And these creatures, ladies and gentlemen," he continued, "are Luans from the Planet Lua. They are desperately in need of food so have decided to drive another race, the earthlings, to utter destruction, in order to eat them. WE CANNOT CONCEDE. If we attack now, our Planet Fr would have more food opportunities since we get to eat the earthlings and Luans. Our MotherSheep is fitted with state-of-the-art technologies 1 million light years away from the SpacePie. Our attack starts now." And with that, he wheeled over and stabbed a button on the multi-coloured controls board. A cluster of microscopic sheep loaded with viruses geared towards killing off the Luans shot off down to Earth.
"Let's show them who really rules, eh?" the bespectacled Franian murmured, lips pursed in deep concentration.
